Mommy Mommy Humor Posted May 27th, 2009 in Twisted Humor

Mommy, Mommy… Grandma’s got a bruise!
Shut up and eat around it!

Mommy, Mommy… Why are we pushing the car off the cliff?
Shut up or you’ll wake your father.

Mommy, Mommy… That really hurt!
Shut up and crawl back up the stairs again.

Mommy, Mommy… My head hurts!
Shut up and get away from the dart board!

Mommy, Mommy… Where did your scabs go?
Shut up and eat your corn flakes!

Mommy, Mommy… What’s an orgasm?
I don’t know dear, ask your father.

Mommy, Mommy… What’s a nymphomaniac?
Shut up and help me get Gramma off the doorknob!

Mommy, Mommy… I’m getting dizzy.
Shut up or I’ll nail your other foot down!

Mommy, Mommy… Daddy puked again!
Shut up and get a fork, before your sister gets all the big chunks!

Mommy, Mommy…  I don’t wanna visit grandma!
Shut up and keep digging.

Mommy, Mommy… I hate Daddy’s guts.
Shut up kid and keep eating.

Mommy, Mommy… Why am I so ugly?
Shut up and finish combing your face.

Mommy, Mommy… Daddy’s running down the street!
Shut up and step on the gas!

Mommy, Mommy… What’s for dinner?
Shut up and get back in the oven!

Mommy, Mommy… What’s a lesbian?
Go ask your father, she’ll know.

Mommy, Mommy… I hate tomato soup!
Shut up son, we only have it once a month!

Mommy, Mommy… Sally won’t come skipping with me.
Don’t be cruel, you know it makes her stumps bleed.

Mommy, Mommy… I don’t want to see Niagara falls!
Shut up and get back in the barrel!

Mommy, Mommy… Can I wear a bra now that I’m 16?
Shut up, Albert.

Mommy, Mommy… Why is everybody running?
Shut up and reload.