There are essentially four kinds of sex …

HOUSE SEX – When you are newly married and have sex all over the house in every room.

BEDROOM SEX – After you have been married for a while, you only have sex in the bedroom.

HALL SEX – After you’ve been married for many, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say “FUCK YOU”.

COURTROOM SEX – When your wife and her lawyer fuck you in the divorce court in front of many people for every penny you’ve got.