You most likely flunked sex education if you thought…

A clitoris is a type of flower.

A pubic hair is a wild rabbit.

“Spread eagle” is an extinct bird.

Vagina is a medical term used to describe a heart attack.

A menstrual cycle has three wheels.

A G-string is part of a fiddle.

Semen is a term for sailors.

Anus is a Latin term for sailors.

Testicles are found on an octopus.

Asphalt describes rectal problems.

KOTEX is a radio station in Cincinnati.

Masturbate is a lure used to catch large fish.

Coitus is a musical instrument.

Fetus is a character on Gunsmoke.

An umbilical chord is part of a parachute.

A condom is a large apartment complex.

An orgasm is a musician who accompanies a church choir.

A diaphragm is a drawing in geometry.

A dildo is a variety of sweet pickle.

An erection is when Japanese people vote.

A lesbian is a person from the Middle East.

Sodomy is a special variety of fast growing grass.

Pornography is the business of making records.

Genitals are people of non-Jewish origin.

Douche is the French word for “two”.