From the cover of this Michelina’s Noodles Stroganoff microwave dinner, it would appear aunty Michelina herself expertly crafted a stroganoff so delicate and tantalizing that even the most well versed Italian food connoisseur would be left speechless with delight.

With salvia dripping from my chin I deposited it into the microwave and nuked as directed. The three beeps of victory were heard and I eagerly removed it from the nuker. Cracked open the lid to reveal its bounty, only to discover what I would best describe as ‘vomit in a box’.

Reality sure does suck, doesn’t it…