Angry Gas Posted October 17th, 2008 in Funny Pictures

Fellow O’Doole Limerick Posted October 15th, 2008 in Rude Limericks

There once was a fellow O’Doole,
who found little red spots on his tool,
his doctor a cynic,
said get out of me clinic,
and wipe off that lipstick you fool!

Viagra One Liner Posted October 14th, 2008 in One Liner Jokes

Q. What do Disney World and Viagra have in common?

A. They both make you wait an hour for a two minute ride.

Man From Kent Limerick Posted October 8th, 2008 in Rude Limericks

There was a man from Kent,
who had a penis so long it bent,
it was so much trouble,
that he kept it double,
and instead of coming he went.

Whore House Parrot Joke Posted October 8th, 2008 in Dirty Jokes

A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot with a sign on the cage that said $50.00. “Why so little?” she asked the pet store owner. The owner looked at her and said, “Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of prostitution and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff.”

The woman thought about it, but decided, she had to have the bird anyway. She took it home and hung the bird’s cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something. The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, “New house, new madam.” The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought “That’s really not so bad.”

When her two teenage daughters returned from school that afternoon, the bird saw them and said, “New house, new madam, new girls.” The girls and the woman laughed about the situation, considering how and where the parrot had been raised.

Moments later, the woman’s husband Keith came home from work. The bird looked at him and said, “Hi, Keith!”

Gynecologist Appointment Joke Posted October 6th, 2008 in Dirty Jokes

This guy wakes up out of a deep sleep and, feeling real horny, nudges his wife awake and asks, “Why don’t we get it on, eh?” She replies, “I have an appointment at the gynecologist tomorrow and you know I don’t like to make love the night before.” So the husband agrees, rolls back over and starts to go back to sleep.

A few minutes later, he nudges his wife again and asks, “You don’t by any chance have a dentist’s appointment tomorrow, do you?”

Plumber From Lee Limerick Posted October 1st, 2008 in Rude Limericks

There once was a plumber from Lee,
who was plumbing his girl by the sea,
she said “Stop your plumbing”,
“there’s somebody coming”,
said the plumber still plumbing… “It’s me!”

Doctor’s Office Joke Posted September 30th, 2008 in Dirty Jokes

This beautiful woman one day walks into a doctor’s office and the doctor is bowled over by how stunningly awesome she is. All his professionalism goes right out the window.

He tells her to take off her pants, she does, and he starts rubbing her thighs. “Do you know what I am doing?” asks the doctor. TO which she replies, “Yes, checking for abnormalities.”

He tells her to take off her shirt and bra, she takes them off. The doctor begins rubbing her breasts and asks, “Do you know what I am doing now?”, she replies, “Yes, checking for cancer.”

Finally, he tells her to take off her panties, lays her down on the table, gets on top of her and starts having sex with her. He says to her, “Do you know what I am doing now?”

She replies, “Yes, getting herpes - that’s why I’m here!”

Fellow McSweeny Limerick Posted September 24th, 2008 in Rude Limericks

There once was a fellow McSweeny,
who spilled some gin on his weenie,
just to be couth,
he added vermouth,
then slipped his girlfriend a martini.

Dishwasher One Liner Posted September 24th, 2008 in One Liner Jokes

Q. What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?

A. Yell at her.

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