My boyfriend wants a gas guzzling car! Posted June 14th, 2010 in Dr Thatslife Advice

Sandy, 22 from Airdrie, Alberta writes…

Me and my boyfriend have been steady for close to 3 years. He has had two different cars during those years, and is now interested in buying another. My problem is he always buys gas guzzling sports cars with big engines, and I don‘t agree with this. When he told me about the high performance car he was seriously considering this time, I told him I was uncomfortable with his decision because the car is an environmental abomination. He won’t take me seriously, and no matter what I say it has no influence on what he wants to buy. I do my part by recycling and other conscious decisions, I think he should be thoughtful of his environmental footprint too, but he has shown no interest in caring no matter how many times I bring it up. How can I persuade him to make the right decision?

Dr Thatslife has this to say….

Oh pull out the violin why don’t you? The guy is obviously a motor head and fast cars are his hobby, why don’t you leave the fucking guy alone? I’d LOVE to see your lack luster half baked list of environmental efforts. Lots of talk and “consciousness” with next to zero achievements under your belt. Oh look, you recycle your pop bottles, WOW! Installed a low flush toilet? Holy shit Batman! Bought a compact car with the power of a windup toy (because you couldn‘t afford a better one)? Whoop-dee-doo Sandy. You‘re my fucking hero.

You may think you’re some champion savoir of the planet – but I bet the shirt off my back you do fuck all for the environment beyond whatever has the least amount of impact to your personal comfort and convenience. If you really did what it took to make a considerable difference, you’re life wouldn’t even REMOTELY resemble its current form. The changes would be so radical you’d be sucking your thumb, crying yourself to sleep each night. Companies want you to think that just because you bought their “reduced packaging” clothes detergent or bought an Energy Star big screen TV that the world has been saved, but they’re all empty gestures that amount to a spectacular cavalcade of bullshit. What I mean by all this Sandy, is if you’re going to be pestering and imposing on others about your supposed views, walk the fucking walk.

I find it fascinating the only effort you can attest to doing is recycling, something everyone has been doing for the past 20-something years. Farts from the cows that hectares of land had been clear-cut for that make up those burgers you shovel into your gullet harm the world just as much or more than whatever car your boyfriend decides to buy and cruise around with.

“How can I persuade him”? Persuade him with what? Dangle the idea of some hack car with a hairdryer engine he can show off to all his car enthusiast friends? Wow, great… you really know how to let a guy enjoy his youth and manhood. I can just imagine the other ways you impede on his enjoyment. Not every guy has the privilege of a hobby they’re passionate about; DON’T give him the guilt trip on what makes him happy. You live in a small town, I can’t imagine there’s much (if anything) to do, don’t take away what keeps his sanity. Otherwise you’ll end up with one grumpy motherfucker – and rightfully so. Can I be any clearer on this Sandy? Leave him the fuck alone.

If you want to go on an environmental crusade, that is fine, I respect that. But just like religious nuts, you can’t force your views on others. You have no right to. They will make the decisions that you were allowed to make at your own time, on their own. Wow, I feel a lot better after that tirade.

That’s life.

Who Needs Drugs Picture Posted June 11th, 2010 in Funny Pictures

Doctor and Wife Joke Posted June 8th, 2010 in Dirty Jokes

A doctor and his wife were having a huge argument at breakfast. “You aren’t so good in bed either!”, he shouted and stormed off to work. By mid morning, he decided he’d better make amends and called home. “What took you so long to answer the phone?” The wife responds, “I was in bed.” Puzzled the doctor asked “What were you doing in bed this late?” To which the wife replied, “Getting a second opinion.”

College Party Evidence Picture Posted June 4th, 2010 in Funny Pictures

BP Twitter Feed Posted June 3rd, 2010 in Scathing Opinion

Under water robots lowering over-sized Mexican sombrero onto leak.
8:56 AM June 3rd via web

Bubble gum not holding, switching to Big League Chew.
11:29 AM May 26th via web

MacGyver on scene – was given paper clip, drinking straw and sparkle glue. Leak should be fixed shortly.
8:20 PM May 21th via web

Left message at Roto-Rooter emergency hot line, waiting for call back.
4:17 PM May 20th via web

Ultra absorbent tampon not holding leak, pulling string and re-strategizing.
12:29 PM May 18th via web

Big Gun Small Brain Video Posted June 2nd, 2010 in Hilarious Videos

My husband wants us to have a threesome! Posted June 2nd, 2010 in Dr Thatslife Advice

Cindy, 31 from St Louis writes…

My husband and I have been married for almost 5 years, have a beautiful 2 year old baby boy and are high school sweethearts. A month ago we were at a party and one of my long time friends, in a roundabout way, said she was curious about having a threesome with me and my husband. I dismissed the idea immediately, figuring she had a few too many to drink, but it recently came to light that my husband took the offer much more seriously than I did.

He believes it would “spice up our sex life”, but I am just completely uncomfortable with the idea. I have no desire to share an intimate encounter with another woman under any circumstance, particularly with my good friend of many years. Ever since, my husband has asked me about this a few times, even though I made it very clear I am not interested. Help Dr Thatslife, I wish my friend never said anything.

Dr Thatslife has this to say….

I think your hubby is forgetting what it would be like for him if the tables were turned. The very thought of another man with his cock and balls hanging there and a wife’s eager face ready to pounce, waving him in for some “sword crossing action” would leave your husband physically convulsing and retching in the aisles. So why should he expect any less of a response from yourself?

In all honesty, guys do have a tendency to fantasize about threesomes starring a couple of naked damsels and the cock master hero (themselves) single handedly quenching their insatiable sexual desires. Popular culture and porn have propagated the ideal that woman will gleefully tear each other’s clothes off and muff dive each other at the first sign of an opportunity. However reality obviously dictates a vastly different story that is much more in tune with your response to such an opportunity. Don’t get me wrong – threesomes certainly do happen aplenty, there is no shortage of stories out there, but not how the innuendo in the latest beer commercials would have you believe.

Your husband’s efforts to coerce you with repeated pleas are a testament to the strength of men’s fantasy to partake in threesomes. What he conveniently attempts to bypass are the sticky matters such as the harmful effect it would have between you and your friend, the jealousness that would sprout from the event, and ultimately how it abandons care for your well-being. “Spicing up your sex life” does not require stepping out of your sexual orientation, but rather exploring different components of your sexuality and diversifying your sexual experiences.

What he also conveniently overlooks is just how awkward such an experience can be. He’s envisioning the porn movie he watched where the guy’s showering the two naked girls with Champaign while they feast on each other and he’s finger banging them in perfect unison. In reality it would be an awkward and unnatural experience, particularly for you – in the onset, during and after the event – and he hasn’t spent two seconds thinking of it that way.

What should you do? Don’t feel obliged to go along with the idea. You need to make it implicitly clear that you “don’t go that way” and that he needs to respect your sexual boundaries. To concrete your point – set the scene by letting him visualize if it were a threesome involving another man. Either he’ll understand your “run for the hills” response, or you have bigger issues to worry about than you thought. LOL

That my dear, is life.

New Husband One Liner Posted June 1st, 2010 in One Liner Jokes

Q. What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog?

A. After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

She Must Me Joke Posted May 31st, 2010 in Dirty Jokes

Bill pulled up a stool at his favorite bar and announced, “My wife Suzie must love me more than any woman has ever loved any man!” “What makes you say that?” the bartender inquired. “Last week,” Bill explained, “I had to take a couple of sick days from work. Suzie was so thrilled to have me around that every time the milkman or mailman came by, she’d run down the driveway waving her arms and hollering, ‘My husband’s home! My husband’s home!’”

Small Dick Picture Posted May 28th, 2010 in Funny Pictures

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