Pizza Order From Hell Posted May 15th, 2009 in Scathing Opinion

An overheard conversation at a local pizza store, keeping in mind there are about a dozen people waiting in-line behind this guy and it’s noon on a Friday before a holiday long weekend…

Server at counter: “What will you have?”

Customer: “Yes, let me see here now… I will have a… Oh! I think I’ll have a slice of pizza! Yes, I think that would satisfy me right about now… Ummm, alright… I want it to be a vegetarian. Now it will need to be multigrain dough, slightly toasted so it’s crispy but not too crunchy. Just so we’re clear – it has to be gluten free and no dairy products, I’m a vegetarian and very specific about what my body consumes. Uhhh, I almost forgot, I want you to hold the mushrooms – I’m not a big fan of mushrooms. The sauce, uh, make sure there isn’t too much sauce on it, otherwise I won’t like it. And make sure you bake me a fresh slice, I don’t want any of the ones on that rack. Oh, and your cardboard pizza slice trays… do they contain at least 50% post-consumer recycled paper fibers? If they don’t, we’re going to have to cancel the order, I’m sure you understand.”

Server at counter: “Fuck you.”