Melvin, 25 from Louisiana writes…
My girl won’t put out, I know she’s younger by about 6 years but she’s just frigid. It’s not much fun doing same thing each time we in the sack. I be on top every time, she won’t take it in the mouth and every time I suggest something different she goes quiet. Help doc, she is fine hot until you get her in bed.
Dr Thatslife has this to say….
You need to ask yourself, “Is this girl prude, boring or a rookie?”
Being a prude means she’s unwilling to partake in what she believes is beneath or unfitting of her. This personality gets old hat real fast because they’re usually selectively prudish about things that involve effort or sacrifice on their part, and has little to do with etiquette or standards.
Bores are exactly that, she’ll just lay there in the starfish formation, emitting the occasional groan to indicate the existence of life, while the guy does all the heavy lifting. Getting her to suck cum out of your dick like a thick shake straw is out of the question. Reciprocal affection and pleasing is not their specialty.
Finally, the most promising and possibly the most applicable of the three… Being a rookie really boils down to lack of experience, not quiet knowing what you want or how to do things and a general feeling of self-consciousness. Hence the lost looks when you hint for her to rim your asshole while playing with your balls.
Which one can you slot your girl into? Don’t jump to conclusions, it isn’t always obvious. The first two are character traits, being a rookie is only an experience issue. By you telling me she just goes quiet and by how old she is, I’m guessing she’s a rookie. Guys often make the mistake of assuming hot looks equals hot in the sack, which often fails to materialize.
So while you’re in the sack with her thinking to yourself “This girl’s more awkward than a motel ironing board”, keep in mind she’s thinking, “I’m miles away from anything resembling my comfort zone”.
You seem to have forgotten it wasn’t too long ago when YOU would have been fumbling around desperately trying to undo bra clasps and rubbing clits with the finesse of a dump truck on ice. Give this girl a fucking break Melvin, you need more patience and a guiding hand to graduate her from rookie to all-star.
Change how you approach this whole thing. I can tell from the tone of your writing, you’re pushing too hard and offering too little. More tact is needed…
Firstly, both of you should be more verbally communicative about what you both like in the sack, instead of you just trying to bludgeon her face with your hog each time. By asking her what she likes, you show empathy to her needs, and by letting her know what turns your crank, you’ve expressed how she holds the ability to titillate and satisfy you. Your efforts to learn what she likes, will not go unappreciated.
Secondly, you’ve probably offered her too little, both emotionally and physically. Make her feel sexy Melvin, spend more time working her up and getting her into the mood. Don’t just dive in and start fondling her goodies and swinging your dick around, caress the little lady. She’ll be much more inclined to swallow your loads if you’ve done a decent job of polished her floorboards, get it?
Finally, you’re probably being too heavy handed. Take it slower with smaller increments and alleviate some of her tension. The fact is, she’s giving out, just not the things you’re wanting. Give her reasons, confidence and desire to upgrade to the next level. As she acclimatizes, her willingness to open up, reciprocate and experiment more will blossom.
That’s life Melvin.