Cindy, 31 from St Louis writes…

My husband and I have been married for almost 5 years, have a beautiful 2 year old baby boy and are high school sweethearts. A month ago we were at a party and one of my long time friends, in a roundabout way, said she was curious about having a threesome with me and my husband. I dismissed the idea immediately, figuring she had a few too many to drink, but it recently came to light that my husband took the offer much more seriously than I did.

He believes it would “spice up our sex life”, but I am just completely uncomfortable with the idea. I have no desire to share an intimate encounter with another woman under any circumstance, particularly with my good friend of many years. Ever since, my husband has asked me about this a few times, even though I made it very clear I am not interested. Help Dr Thatslife, I wish my friend never said anything.

Dr Thatslife has this to say….

I think your hubby is forgetting what it would be like for him if the tables were turned. The very thought of another man with his cock and balls hanging there and a wife’s eager face ready to pounce, waving him in for some “sword crossing action” would leave your husband physically convulsing and retching in the aisles. So why should he expect any less of a response from yourself?

In all honesty, guys do have a tendency to fantasize about threesomes starring a couple of naked damsels and the cock master hero (themselves) single handedly quenching their insatiable sexual desires. Popular culture and porn have propagated the ideal that woman will gleefully tear each other’s clothes off and muff dive each other at the first sign of an opportunity. However reality obviously dictates a vastly different story that is much more in tune with your response to such an opportunity. Don’t get me wrong – threesomes certainly do happen aplenty, there is no shortage of stories out there, but not how the innuendo in the latest beer commercials would have you believe.

Your husband’s efforts to coerce you with repeated pleas are a testament to the strength of men’s fantasy to partake in threesomes. What he conveniently attempts to bypass are the sticky matters such as the harmful effect it would have between you and your friend, the jealousness that would sprout from the event, and ultimately how it abandons care for your well-being. “Spicing up your sex life” does not require stepping out of your sexual orientation, but rather exploring different components of your sexuality and diversifying your sexual experiences.

What he also conveniently overlooks is just how awkward such an experience can be. He’s envisioning the porn movie he watched where the guy’s showering the two naked girls with Champaign while they feast on each other and he’s finger banging them in perfect unison. In reality it would be an awkward and unnatural experience, particularly for you – in the onset, during and after the event – and he hasn’t spent two seconds thinking of it that way.

What should you do? Don’t feel obliged to go along with the idea. You need to make it implicitly clear that you “don’t go that way” and that he needs to respect your sexual boundaries. To concrete your point – set the scene by letting him visualize if it were a threesome involving another man. Either he’ll understand your “run for the hills” response, or you have bigger issues to worry about than you thought. LOL

That my dear, is life.