An angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his collar. “I assume that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in here at six o’clock in the morning?” she snarled. ”There is…” he replied. “Breakfast.”

Q. What does a bull do to stay warm on a bitterly cold day?

A. He goes into the barn and slips into a nice warm “Jersey”.

Mr. Johnson and his secretary are on a train heading to Paris. They are just about to go to sleep when the secretary, who has a crush on her boss, says in a seductive voice says, “I’m a little cold, could I borrow your blanket?” Her boss replies “How would you like to be Mrs. Johnson for awhile?” The secretary jumps at the chance and begins to get out of bed. He then says “Good, then you can get your own fucking blanket.”