There once was a Rabbi of Keith,
who circumsized men with his teeth,
it was not for the treasure,
nor sexual pleasure,
but to get at the cheese underneath.

Q. How do you know when your honeymoon is over?

A. When he no longer smiles as he scrapes the burnt toast.

A guy is driving his girlfriend home when she decides she wants to go to her friend’s place instead. Her friend lives out of the way so she tells her boyfriend that she would get naked for him if he drove her. The guy agrees and the girl takes off all her clothes. The boyfriend is so busy looking at her that he stacks the car and gets stuck between the steering wheel and the seat. He tells her to go get help and she replied that she couldn’t because she had no clothes on. He replies, “Take my shoe, cover your snatch with it, and go for help!” She takes the shoe and runs to the closest gas station. She finds the clerk and says, “Help, my boyfriend is stuck! Can you help us?” The clerk replies, “I’m sorry, I think he’s too far in.”