A man is sitting alone, pounding back drinks at the local bar. Along comes a beautiful woman that sits down beside him. He turns to her and says “Hey, how bout it? You and me, gettin’ it on. I’ve got a couple dollars and it looks like you could use a little money.” She stands up and says, “What makes you think I charge by the inch?”

There once was a pirate from Yates,
who could dance the Fandango on skates,
he fell on his cutlass,
which rendered him nut-less,
and perfectly useless on dates.