Guide Dog Joke Posted September 10th, 2009 in Dirty Jokes

A blind man was walking down the street with his guide dog. They stopped at the corner to wait for passing traffic. The dog, at this point, started pissing on the man’s leg. As the dog finished, the man reached into his coat pocket, pulled out a doggie treat and started waving it at the dog. A passerby saw what was happening and was shocked. He approached the blind man and asked how he could possibly reward the dog for such a disgusting deed. The blind man replied “Oh I’m not rewarding him… I’m just trying to find his head so I can kick his fucking ass.”

Nude Beach Joke Posted September 7th, 2009 in Dirty Jokes

A young husband and wife were sunning on a nude beach when a wasp buzzed into the woman’s vagina. The husband covered her with a coat, pulled on his shorts, carried her to the car and made a dash to the hospital. After examining her, the doctor explained that the wasp was too far in to be reached with forceps. He suggested the husband try to entice it out by putting honey on his penis, penetrating her and withdrawing as soon as he felt the wasp. The man agreed to try, but because he was so nervous, he couldn’t rise to the occasion. “if neither of you objects,” the medic said, “I could give it a try.”

Under the circumstances, the husband and wife both agreed. The doctor quickly undressed, slathered on some honey and mounted the woman. The husband watched with increasing alarm as the doctor’s thrusts continued for several long minutes. “Hey, what the hell is happening?”

“Change of plans…” The physician panted. “I’m going to drown the little bastard!”

Private Parking Picture Posted September 4th, 2009 in Funny Pictures

Wife and Job One Liner Posted September 2nd, 2009 in One Liner Jokes

Q. What’s the difference between your wife and your job?

A. After five years your job will still suck.

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