Q. What’s the definition of trust?

A. Two cannibals giving each other a blowjob.

When Ralph first noticed that his penis was growing larger and staying erect longer, he was delighted, as was his wife. But after several weeks his penis had grown to nearly twenty inches. Ralph became quite concerned, so he and his wife went to see a prominent Urologist. After an initial examination, the physician explained to the couple that, though rare, Ralph’s condition could be cured through corrective surgery. “How long will Ralph be on crutches?” the wife asked anxiously. “Crutches? Why would he need crutches?” responded the surprised doctor. “Well,” said the wife, “you are planning to lengthen Ralph’s legs, aren’t you?”

“I’ve got some good news and some bad news” the doctor says. “What’s the bad news?” asks the patient. “The bad news is that unfortunately you’ve only got 3 months to live.” The patient is taken back, “What’s the good news then Doctor?” The doctor points over to the secretary at the front desk, “You see that blonde with the big breasts, tight ass and legs that go all the way up to heaven?”, the patient shakes his head and the doctor replies, “I’m fucking her.”

Q. What’s the difference between pink and purple?

A. The grip!

A guy comes home from work, walks into his bedroom, and finds a stranger fucking his wife. He says, “What the hell are you two doing?” His wife turns to the stranger and says, “I told you he was stupid.”

Q. What does bungee jumping and hookers have in common?

A. They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you’re screwed.