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One Liner Jokes

Fat Girls One Liner

Posted August 10th, 2009 at 9:25 am in One Liner Jokes

Q. How are fat girls and mopeds alike?

A. They are fun to ride but you don’t want your friends to find out.



Funny Pictures

Please Neuter Picture

Posted August 7th, 2009 at 5:16 pm in Funny Pictures

Please Neuter Picture



Life Advice

He expects me to wear expensive clothes!

Posted August 6th, 2009 at 11:15 am in Life Advice

Trinity, 18 from Los Angeles, California writes…

I have been dating my boyfriend for 5 months. My boyfriend is really popular at school, and I feel like I’m always trying to keep up with it. He has so many friends, wears all the coolest clothes, gets invites to parties. Lately he keeps asking me to get better clothes, get the same brand shirts as him, otherwise he says he might outgrow me. I have a part time job after school, but it really is not enough for these expensive brands he wants me to get. What should I do? If I buy the clothes I need to work a second job, if I don’t my boyfriend might move on to someone else more cool. I feel either way I can’t win Dr Thatslife, help me!

Dr Thatslife has this to say….

You’re wrong Trinity, having your boyfriend move on would be a win for you. The guy sounds like a total ass clown. He’ll dump you now over the clothing issue, or something equally mindless somewhere down the road. Take your pick, the fact is you will never meet his standards. Probably nobody but the equally most shallow girl in your school will be sufficient in his mind, so why bother trying? Seriously.

It really doesn’t fucking matter if your shirt has an alligator, eagle, moose, or a little man on a horse; its all the same shit coming from the same third world sweat shops. The ONLY difference is one shirt will be $30, the other requires you to lube up for $100. Who fucking cares what embroidery is sewn onto a fucking golf shirt?

By focusing on such trivial and completely meaningless details, this guy avoids the larger issues plaguing his most likely shallow and mediocre existence. You’re probably the best thing that could be in his life, and he’s willing to jeopardize that for a shirt. You tell me what you think you need to do about it.

That’s Life Trinity.

Life Advice by Dr Thatslife


One Liner Jokes

Necrophiliac One Liner

Posted August 5th, 2009 at 10:11 am in One Liner Jokes

Q. What’s a necrophiliac’s biggest complaint about sex?

A. They just kinda lay there.



Dirty Jokes

Bear and Bunny Joke

Posted August 3rd, 2009 at 10:54 am in Dirty Jokes

A bear and a bunny are sitting in a forest taking a shit. The bear leans over to the bunny and asks “Do you ever have the problem of shit sticking to your fur?” The bunny says “No, I don’t think so.” So the bear grabs the bunny and wipes his ass.





 


Text Messages

 
Timbo (Dec 10):

You smell like a wet dog farting in a wind tunnel.



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