There was a young man from Savannah,
who met his end in a curious manner,
he whittled a hole,
in a telephone pole,
and electrified his banana.

Q. Who’s the world’s greatest athlete?

A. The guy who finishes first and third in a masturbation contest.

A man enters a barbershop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks. “I have just the thing.” says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. “Just place this between your cheek and gum.”

The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few more strokes, the client asks in garbled speech, “And what if I swallow it?”

“No problem!” says the barber “Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does.”