Crotchless Panties Joke Posted April 30th, 2009 in Dirty Jokes

One day a girl decided to buy some crotchless panties to surprise her boyfriend. She went and bought them, got home, put them on and waited. When the boyfriend got home there she was spread eagle on the bed with only her panties and bra on. “Come over here baby.” she says smiling. The boyfriend backs off, “If your pussy can do that to your panties – I ain’t going any where near it!”

Fuck One Sister Picture Posted April 24th, 2009 in Funny Pictures

Two Lovely Women Joke Posted April 22nd, 2009 in Dirty Jokes

This foreign man is sitting in a bar and notices two lovely women across the way. He calls the bartender over and in a thick accent and somewhat broken English says, ”I like to buy those ladies drinks.” The bartender replies, “It won’t do you any good.” The foreign man, with a confused look on his face says, “Not matter, I want buy those women drinks.”

So the bartender delivers the drinks to the ladies and they acknowledge the drinks with a nod of their heads. About a half hour later, the man approaches the women and says, “I like to buy two drink more for you ladies.”

The women both reply, “It won’t do you any good.” The foreign man says, “Me not understand. What you mean ‘won’t do me any good’?” The first woman says, “We’re lesbians.” To which the foreign man asks, “Lesbians? What is a lesbians?” To which the second woman replies, “Lesbians… we like to lick pussy.”

The foreign man yells, “Bartender, three beers for us lesbians.”

Man From Brighton Limerick Posted April 21st, 2009 in Rude Limericks

There once was a man from Brighton
Who said to his girl, “You’re a tight one.”
She said, “Pardon my soul,
but you’re in the wrong hole.
There’s plenty of room in the right one.”

Blow Job One Liner Posted April 20th, 2009 in One Liner Jokes

Q. Why is being in the military like a blow job?

A. The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.

Flashing In Public Picture Posted April 17th, 2009 in Funny Pictures

Night of Drinking Joke Posted April 16th, 2009 in Dirty Jokes

A man comes home from a night of drinking. As he stumbles through the front door, his wife snaps at him, “What’s the big idea coming home half drunk?” The man replies, “I’m sorry honey. I ran out of money.”

We Made Out And Now He’s Ignoring Me! Posted April 14th, 2009 in Dr Thatslife Advice

 Sandra, 17 from Chandler, Arizona writes…

Hoping you can help doc. I’ve had this crush on a guy that has been in my classes for the past 2 years. I could never really get his attention, until finally the other night we ended up talking at a house party. My parents were out of town, so we went back to my place and made out. It was amazing, like a dream come true, he even came inside of me. But then things went really bad. As soon as we were done, he right away gathered his stuff, said goodbye and left out the door. Ever since he has completely ignored me, and when I tried to stop him to talk in the hallway between classes he turned the other way and walked off. Honestly I’m confused. Is it just that maybe he’s shy about what happened, or did he use me or what? It’s been a while since the night we made out, and I so want him, but I don’t know what he’s thinking. There isn’t anyone else I could possibly want. I really want this to work out between us!

Dr Thatslife has this to say….

Sandra, it’s called a one night stand, and whether you were attuned to the fact or not, you were involved in one that night. He was looking for nothing more or less from you than exactly what he got, to unload his yam bag into you. He couldn’t care less what you got out of it or what your anticipations of a future between the two of you may encompass. You were simply at the right place at the right time to fill his needs.

If you’re thinking that this physical encounter in some way establishes a relationship or an emotional connection between you, that would be wrong. Dickhead can easily romp with you in the sack, and walk off forgetting your name that very night. And any stimulating conversation and flirtatious banter you two may have had at the party were, in his mind, nothing more than an obstacle to getting your panties around your ankles.

So don’t be under the illusion that just because you two fucked, there is anything deeper going on here. Your best move at this point would be to press the reset button on this goof and start looking for a new guy to pine over. While this may be difficult, as you’ve probably spent two years building this from a puppy love crush to an obsession – mentally banishing this guy will help you to refocus on checking out other, most likely better guys for you.

That’s life!

First Goatse Picture Posted April 10th, 2009 in Funny Pictures

How Many Women Joke Posted April 9th, 2009 in Dirty Jokes

A man and a woman had been married some time when the woman began to question her husband. “I know you’ve been with a lot of woman before. How many were there?” The husband replied, “Look, I don’t want to upset you, there were many. Let’s just leave it alone.” The wife continued to beg and plead. Finally, the husband gave in. “Let’s see.” he said “There was one, two, three, four, five, six, you, eight, nine…”

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