One day a mother walked into the bathroom to find her little son Tommy furiously scrubbing his dick with a toothbrush and toothpaste. “What the hell do you think you’re doing, young man?!” she yelled. “Don’t try to stop me!” Johnny warned. “I’m gonna do this three times a day, because there’s no way I’m gonna get a cavity that looks and smells as bad as my sister’s.”

Q. What’s the difference between a lesbian and a Ritz cracker?

A. Ones a snack cracker, and the others a crack snacker!

There once was a man from Kubot
who lived off of toe jam and snot,
when he had none of these,
he lived off the cheese,
from the tip of his grungy old cock.

An old man woke up in the middle of the night and found, to his utter astonishment, that his pecker was as hard as a rock for the first time in two years. He shook his wife by the shoulder until she woke up and showed her his enormous boner. “Check this out!” he happily exclaimed. “What do you think we should do with it?” With one eye open, his wife replied, “Well, now that you’ve got all the wrinkles out, now would be a good time to wash it.”

A man and his four year old son are talking, when his son asks him “Dad, what does a pussy look like?” The Dad confused, asks him “Before or after sex?” The kid replies “Ummm… before sex.” So the dad says to him “Well have you ever seen a beautiful rose with it’s soft red peddles?” “Yes.” says the son before continuing “What about after sex?” His dad replies, “Have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise?”

There once was a man from Nantucket,
whose cock was so long he could suck it,
while licking his chin,
he said with a grin,
if my ear was a pussy I’d fuck it.