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There once was this guy named Stan,
A rich man and a poor man have the same wedding anniversary. They’re both at Madison Avenue shopping for their wives. The poor man says to the rich man, “What’d you get your wife this year?” He says, “A Mercedes and a huge diamond ring.” The poor man says, “Why’d you get her both?” The rich man says, “If she doesn’t like the ring, she can take it back happy.” The poor man says, “OK… that works.” The rich man asks, “Well what did you get your wife?” The Poor man replies, “A pair of slippers and a dildo.” The Rich man thinks for a moment and says, “Why’d you get her a pair of slippers and a dildo?” The Poor man says, “If she doesn’t like the slippers, she can go fuck herself!”
Q. What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea? A. A salad shooter
When your fledgling video store business doesn’t quite hit the mark with local area residence, that’s the time to diversify your revenue streams to maximize the return on your retail square footage investment. Peruse the photo above - think of this as an easter egg hunt, but without the reward.
We’re sure that there are plenty of other great money making products and services that can be wrenched into 250 square feet of space, but only time will tell what they will be. There are just so many business ideas perfect for in a video store, whether it be shoe repair, soft serve ice cream or key cutting - the local video store is where it all happens.
A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack. Upon getting home he announces to his wife the purchase he just made. “Olympic condoms?”, she blurts, “What makes them so special?” “There are three colours”, he replies, “Gold, Silver and Bronze.” “What colour are you going to wear tonight?”, she asks cheekily. “Gold of course”, says the man proudly. The wife responds “Why don’t you wear Silver? It would be nice if you came second for a change!”
There once was a man from Monclair,
A man is at his lawyer’s funeral and and is surprised by the turnout for this one man. He turns to the people around him. “Why are you all at this man’s funeral?” A man turns towards him and says, “We’re all clients.” “And you ALL came to pay your respects? How touching.” “No, we came to make sure he was dead.” |
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Tai Chi Lessons – Because the first place you think of when needing authentic Tai Chi lessons is naturally your local independently owned video store. Block Buster beware, the new generation of video store has arrived. We can only hope the lessons are conducted on-site in the store for maximum convenience.
Phone Service – Just threw your wife off the 18th floor balcony after a heated argument about whether it’s pronounced “tomatoes” or “tomotos”? You need a phone, other than your own, to call your lawyer and discuss whether a permanent trip to Panama or Mexico would be better.
Computer Repair – Nothing reassures me more when handing over my computer and all my private files, than the store fixing it entering my details into a computer that pre-dates the abacus with a box of 5 1/4″ floppy diskettes beside it.
Ink Cartridge Refilling – But why drop off only your computer to be harvested for every scrap of porn and private information it contains; when you could get your ink jet cartridges refilled at the same time? Save pennies while reducing the lifespan of your important prints from decades to days - it just makes sense.
Passport Photos – Why visit the specialists at the photography store for high quality $8 passport photos; when you can spend $6.99 and get a blurry screen door version that vaugly resembles you, using a camera that looks an awful lot like the pin hole camera you made in high school out of a tissue box and duct tape?
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