Genie Wish Joke Posted March 15th, 2008 in Dirty Jokes

While doing renovations to the basement of his house, a man discovers a bottle tucked underneath the staircase. Rubbing the sides of it to remove all the dust and dirt somehow activated it - and a Genie appears. “Oh thank you, I am so relieved to get out of that bottle, you have no idea.” Startled, the man takes a moment to take in what has happened and says “Is it true you grant me a wish for setting you free?” The Genie replies, “Absolutely correct… what did you want?”

The man stood there contemplating his wish. Looking around he found an old globe of the world and picked it up. “I want there to be world peace… no more fighting or war.” The Genie shakes his head, “Come on, that’s a real back breaker, I’m not even sure I have the power to do something that massive.” Being understanding the man thinks again. He walks over to a picture that was resting against a wall, picked it up, and showed it to the Genie. “I wish you could make my wife stunningly beautiful.” Looking at the picture the Genie replies, “Let me see that globe again.”

Two Attorneys Joke Posted March 13th, 2008 in Dirty Jokes

Two attorneys were walking out of a bar and a beautiful young lady walks by. One attorney turns to his associate and comments “Boy, I would like to fuck her!” The other attorney thinks for a second and asks “Out of what?”

Tight Pants One Liner Posted March 13th, 2008 in One Liner Jokes

Q. What do tight pants and a cheap motel have in common?

A. No ball room

Maiden Named Jill Limerick Posted March 12th, 2008 in Rude Limericks

A sexy young maiden named Jill,
tried a dynamite stick for a thrill,
they found her vagina,
in North Carolina,
and bits of her tits in Brazil.

Airplane Crash Joke Posted March 11th, 2008 in Dirty Jokes

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, “If I’m going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman.” She removes all her clothing and asks, “Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?” A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, “Here, iron this!”.

Church In Bed Posted March 10th, 2008 in Funny Pictures

Miss Right One Liner Posted March 7th, 2008 in One Liner Jokes

Q. I married Miss Right.

A. I just didn’t know her first name was “Always”.

Man From St. Paul Limerick Posted March 6th, 2008 in Rude Limericks

There once was a man from St. Paul,
who swore he had but one ball,
two dirty young bitches,
tore down his breeches,
and found he had none at all.

We fight but I can’t stop thinking about him! Posted March 5th, 2008 in Dr Thatslife Advice

 Lauren, 18 from somewhere in the USA writes…

“I have been dating this guy for a little over three years. For the last few months we have been fighting alot about stupid stuff. We just recently decided that we should break up and i stopped talking to him all together for about 2 weeks. The other day i get a random text from him like the whole situation has never happened. We talked which led to another arguement and now i cant stop thinking about him again. Everytime we talk we end up fighting about something so little and he puts his “frat brothers” infront of me all the time! I love him and want to be with him but i cant be number two in his life. Especially behind those frat morons. He still tells me he loves me and that im the one… So what’s happening to us?”

 Dr Thatslife has this to say…

If it’s been 3 years (meaning you two met at the ripe old age of 15) you really need to figure out what you’re getting out of the relationship, versus finding someone new. The person you picked at 15 is most likely very different than who you would be attracted to at 18. Your fights and arguments are all your incompatibilities and natural tendency to dissolve the relationship kicking in. Basically, the fights are hinting that you two have outgrown each other and it’s time to pick up and move on.

Relationships between guys and gals at your age are supposed to be a revolving door, this is so you can get a sample platter of all the dick out there to figure out what you like best. You have plenty of time ahead of you to get into gruelling long term commitments with men, so have fun now while you can. Besides, if you stop to rationalize exactly what you’re “not able to stop thinking about”, you’ll realize you aren’t thinking about anything with substance - just emotional turmoil and confusion.

Finally, let’s address this being number one in his life crap. The fact is, you won’t be number one in his life… he’s in his late teens, he has lots of things that are competing to be number one. Girls have this misconception that they have to take precedence over everything else in the world of their guy… which is horse shit. Don’t get me wrong, the girlfriend is right up there on the list - but moron frat brothers are right up there too. It’s your teenage boyfriend’s job to have moronic and juvenile friends that you can’t tolerate, and it’s your responsibility as a teenage girlfriend to have hot chick friends that he wants to get drunk and have threesomes with.

That’s Life!

Are You My Daddy? Posted March 3rd, 2008 in Funny Pictures

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