Be Safe Sign Posted February 11th, 2008 in Funny Pictures

Difficulties being part of the clique! Posted February 9th, 2008 in Dr Thatslife Advice

 Elaina, 13 from New York City writes…

“Well I am a cheerleader, but it’s kinda unusual considering that I’m Chinese. There aren’t lots of Asian cheerleaders and I think the other girls on the team hold that against me for some reason. I try very hard to fit in, but it’s just so hard. I don’t like approaching someone and just start talking to them because what if they don’t like me? If I talk to them and they find it uncomfortable, they’ll hate me even more.

Sometimes, I try to get to my cheer or dance formation and some girl might push me really hard. This happened just today and I involuntarily yelled, “Oh God, OW!!” As I got into my spot I heard the other girls laughing and repeating what I said in a mocking tone.

I do have some friends on the team, but I am not really part of their special “clique.” Everyone is always in some sort of clique here. Except me. I want to belong!!

Please help me.”

 Dr Thatslife has this to say…

Many people everywhere, of every race, are facing issues similar to yours in their own way. I think if you asked around, this problem would be much more common then you may think. Even the people you think are within these “cliques” don’t even feel part of them. In the end, all these “cliques” are really just an illusion anyway.

When being part of a cheerleading team, you may encounter such asinine behavior like what you mentioned. I don’t know these particular people, but think of it this way… You basically have a group of girls that all want to be the best, “screw the other ones” as far as they are concerned. They are going to do whatever it takes, even if it means hurting the feelings of others (they probably would other wise enjoy being friends with), so they can be the “leaders” of the cheerleader pack. The competitiveness of things such as cheerleading can bring the worst out of people. When they do these asinine things, they are really trying to make themselves feel better by putting someone else down, when others join in, it gives them a sense of false self esteem in the group. You have to remember, none of these girls would do any of this, if they were not in the “group” setting, some of it is to show off.

If you are wanting to become part of this group to make friends, my advise is to look elsewhere in school or in your hobbies, as they just don’t sound like the right people to be hanging around with. If you feel compelled to become more part of this group because it will help your cheerleading, or want to try making friends with them anyway, take this advice…

Evaluate each of the people in this group, and find the ones that do not join in when the others do the moronic things you were telling me about. These people have a better set of values then the others who sound like immature little chumps anyway.
Find a moment when your around the group or even after the group has gone and the person you have found most friendly is still around.
Go up to her and talk about something in relation to cheerleading as an example, ask her if she wants to work on the cheerleading moves at your place or somewhere else another time. Then get into talking about something you recently saw or heard like a song or movie that the other person would probably know. You would be surprised how easy it really is to start talking to someone in the same interest group or sport as yourself. People usually have a very positive attitude and are usually just as interested as you in finding new friends.
You shouldn’t worry about talking to people because of your race. You will not make anyone uncomfortable because of it. Be confident in yourself, your abilities, and qualities….focus on the important stuff…like the fact that you are a good person that people enjoy to be with and you have good to contribute.
When you are successful in doing that, and you hook up with this new friend more often, the others will probably notice, and may not bother you anymore and may accept you more as part of their magical “clique”.
See how you go, but I think it would definitely be worth your while to at least look at expanding your friendships outside of the immediate cheerleader group.

That’s life!

Woman From Wheeling Posted February 8th, 2008 in Rude Limericks

There was a young woman from Wheeling,
bereft of all sexual feeling,
but when a young man named Boris,
patiently licked her clitoris,
she had to be scraped off the ceiling.

Sex Change One Liner Posted February 8th, 2008 in One Liner Jokes

Q. What’s the hardest thing about a sex change operation?

A. Inserting the anchovies.

He never calls me and it’s driving me nuts! Posted February 6th, 2008 in Dr Thatslife Advice

 Janet, 23 from Canada writes…

“Well, its just about impossible to get my boyfriend to call me! I have tried over and over again to page him today for example, but not a word. Its been going on for about 2 weeks. Before this, although he wasn’t perfect, at least he tried to make the effort. What should I do Dr Thatslife?”

 Dr Thatslife has this to say…

Hmmmm… Sounds like you have a guy that just doesn’t give a shit. Something’s going on in his life right now that obviously doesn’t include you. Check the trend, one moment he’s a typical boyfriend, the next he’s mister solitude. From the sounds of things you probably chewed him out each time he finally did call you each time. Which he will use as a tool to further distance you (”Ohh, she keeps fucking calling me!!!!”) What you should do is haul his ass into your “private office” and ask him what the fuck is going on. I mean really, what the heck’s the point in keeping this guy around if you never talk to him, right? If he gives you some bullshit about, “Oh I’ve been busy”, remind him a 30 second call to say he loves you can be fit into any schedule. If he doesn’t sound like he’s going to change…dump the jerk off.

And that, Janet, is life!

Impotent Husband Joke Posted February 6th, 2008 in Dirty Jokes

A woman goes to her doctor, complaining that her husband is 300% impotent. The doctor says, “I’m not sure I understand what you mean.” She says, “Well, the first 100% you can imagine. In addition, he burned his tongue and broke his finger!”

Pocket Pets Posted February 5th, 2008 in Funny Pictures

Man From Calcutta Limerick Posted February 4th, 2008 in Rude Limericks

There once was a man from Calcutta.
he jerked off in a gutter,
the tropical heat,
affected his meat,
and instead of cream he got butter.

Emergency Call Joke Posted February 4th, 2008 in Dirty Jokes

A guy calls emergency… “Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom!” After five minutes, the same man calls back, ”It’s OK, I found another one.”

Ten years older, has a temper, but I love him! Posted February 3rd, 2008 in Dr Thatslife Advice

 Kathy, 19 from Fort Lauderdale writes…

“Well, I’ve been going out with this guy for 11 months, he’s a decade older than me but I’m totally Ga-Ga for him. The problem is that he has a serious attitude problem and cannot control his temper, he overreacts and blames me for everything. Otherwise, he’s a really genuine, sincere person with a lot of friends, and apart from the dark side I’m in love with him and wanna marry him sometime in the future; but everyone has a dark side right! I just want to make it last but I don’t know how to put up with it. He’s been through a lot of pain in his past and I guess he’s just healing but I can’t let go. I wanna stand by him, support him and show him how much he means to me. I want to make him trust me and understand me as well because without trust there’s nothing. I think he loves me in his own way but I sure do love him…please help!!!”

 Dr Thatslife has this to say…

First off, you shouldn’t be even considering marriage with a guy that has major attributes about him that you “don’t know how to put up with”. Him telling you a big sob story about his past gone wrong is no excuse for him blaming you for things and having a pathetic temper. Having a bad temper has nothing to do with healing from the past, its about his CHARACTER. If this is how he conducts himself and treats you now, its going to be exactly the same or worse ten years down the line. Don’t think for a minute that you can get heavily involved with someone or marry them, and just change how they behave. People with “serious attitude problems” are generally pretty immature and self centered. Is that what you are looking for?

You say things like he has friends, but so fucking what? Are they decent people, a bunch of lemmings that are yes men, strange, good people? Having lots of friends doesn’t mean shit.

As for the age thing… Kathy you are still young believe it or not. At 19, the last thing that should be on your mind is wedding bells. Shit, can’t you just enjoy playing the field until you find the RIGHT one… This one sounds way too awkward, one sided and your working too hard for it to be a two way thing. Your taste in men, perspective on life, and many other things will change dramatically say even five years from now. So do you really think a guy you pick when you’re 19 is going to be one you would pick if you did it all again at 24, or 32? I don’ think so. People jump into the marriage thing way too quick lately, without looking at the fine print on what it really means.

He may also use your age difference as a tool to help his self esteem which may have been battered in whatever the hell happened to him. Since you are younger, he may feel more empowered to do things, such as, blaming you, or using it as a means to justify getting angry easily and so on. Also ask yourself, “Why isn’t he going out with someone his own age?” This is a generalization, but there is usually a reason behind it.

The thing that gave all this away the most is your last line that said “I think he loves me in his own way”. From your consultation, I would have to say that last line means you really have no idea if he loves you or not. It maybe romantic talking about how you want to care for him and be there for him but it all wares off very quickly when you realize the “asshole” trait never goes away. You DON’T want a guy that you HAVE to stand by and support for him to be a decent person. You want someone that is self sufficient, already has his act together and doesn’t need another person pampering him all the time to be normal. You should stand by a person and love them because of who they are when you meet them and learn more about them, not to try and improve them.

Be very careful about this relationship and look at it for what it is.

That’s life!

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