 |
|
A lady says to the psychiatrist, “I think I might be a nymphomaniac.” He says, “I’ll see what I can do to help you. My fee is eighty dollars an hour.” She says, “How much for all night?”
“I started working for a construction company at the end of August. I casually met and started talking to my bosses right-hand man…who happens to be 37 and married with 4 kids. I am engaged to a wonderful man who lives in Portland, and who after 3 years, forgets to tell me all the things that count. I love Derek, my fiancée’ with my whole heart, and I would never do anything to hurt him, but the way I feel around this other guy is amazing. He tells me everything I ever wanted to hear…and means it. We’ve shared a couple small kisses, with no tongue involved, it feels wrong to kiss another. Should I stop, and devote myself to my fiancée’???? Is this other guy the one to be with? We have sooo much in common, whenever we are together we share constant deja vu…? Help me here.”
There is a whole slew of stuff in here that says stop everything! Right off the bat, you shouldn’t be marrying Derek. If you are saying things about your fiancée like “he forgets to tell me all the things that count”, and you are thinking about other guys in the way you do about your co-worker, can you imagine 5 years from now when you are actually married? Lets get fucking real here, you aren’t even married and already both of you sound like you’ve fallen off the horse. As for Dumbo at work… That is a case of in the right place at the right time. Look at the scenario, he’s 37 and you’re 18, he’s father of the Brady Bunch and still married. Aren’t ANY of these clues that he either isn’t really into this as much as you think, or if he is, then he is a sick bastard? It’s so obvious that he probably isn’t happy with the home life factor, and at 37, an 18 year old coming along and showing an interest is a perfect outlet away from that whole ball and chain marriage scene for him. It’s very easy for a married man who isn’t happy with his wife of ye’old years and a house full of bouncing, high on Kool Aid, kids to sit and spill their heart out to an 18 year old. It is also very easy for him to tell you the exact words you are looking for to get that warm fuzzy feeling, because trust me he’s been there and done that years ago. He knows exactly what to say to get your little ticker going. I can tell you if the guy at work is always telling you he experiences deja vu around you, he’s full of shit. Do you honestly think a relationship between you and a 37 year old could even in the remotest barren realms of possibility last for ANY length of time? HOLY SHIT ADRIENNE, HE COULD ALMOST BE YOUR FATHER. And that is probably part of what attracts you to him, that whole “father I never had syndrome” girls can have. If his current marriage wasn’t on the rocks he probably wouldn’t even give you a passing thought. Lets pretend it all goes your way, Dumbo wants to get serious with you, leaves his family behind to embrace you for eternal undeniable love. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GOING TO TALK ABOUT? “Oh yeah, so like, school was so cool today, we did this neato experiment dissecting a frog’s left testicle in Science class.”, and the eyes will be rolling back in his head with boredom. You need to a) Screw this marriage shit, for Christ sake you’re 18 go have some fun and live a little! b) If you want to keep talking with Dumbo, that’s fine, but seriously, screw the relationship idea, it sucks big ones. d) Hang out with someone your own age that speaks the romantic talk you are looking for. From you’re “we share constant deja vu” comment, I can tell you are really being taken for a ride on this co-worker thing, letting your emotions grab a hold of the situation rather then logic or reality. That’s life!
A married couple are lying in bed together and the man says, “I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.” The woman says, “I’ll miss you.”
The little boy kept pestering Grandpa, “Make a sound like a frog. Make a sound like a frog” until finally Grandpa says, “Just why do you want me to make a sound like a frog?” In reply, the boy says, “I heard Mom and Dad talking. They said that as soon as you croak, we can go to Florida.”
“My ex-girlfriend and I are trying to get back together. We went out for 2 years and were really in love, we decided to take just a little time apart. We have been apart for almost 3 months and want to get back together, but my parents say that there is no way that I can because they don’t like her. How do I get them to like her? Please help me.”
Common Justin, you’re 18, it has absolutely nothing to do with mommy and daddy anymore. You’re quite capable of deciding who you want to spend YOUR time with. Tell your parents to politely go fuck themselves. Could you imagine who you would be going out with if they were in charge? Some frigid girl that brings a batch of cookies to the door and goes to church every other day. And we don’t want that now do we Justin? You need to say to your parents, “LOOKY HERE, I like this girl, we got along well for 2 years before without any major problems and we want to do it again. If you really object to her, you should have spoken up 2 years ago. I feel it is in my best interest to start seeing her again, and I only hope you learn to accept that this is MY taste in girls, not yours.” The point is here, we don’t want to get irate at them or anything you want to calmly state your reasoning behind the fact your going to date her anyway. I really don’t think you should compromise on this one, if you really do love the girl and you were apart purely because you two mutually decided you wanted some “apart time” then its totally in your right to get right back at it. That’s Life!
Two long time friends decide to go for a round of golf at a nearby course. They meet in the parking lot at the front of the golf course and start to unload the trucks of their cars when one tells another “Hey, guess what! I got a set of golf clubs for my wife!” the other replies, “GREAT trade!”
“Well, I am not a popular girl at school. That’s all right, because I don’t want to be. But I don’t have many friends besides my small group, and I’d like to have a few other friends just to keep up my interest. I am a bit younger than other girls in my grade, plus shorter, so I feel inferior, even if I’m not. I’m also afraid my friends will get mad at me if I hang around with other people, even a bit of the time. I am also quite shy, and I have a fear of talking to people. I wonder if there is some way to talk to people without being extremely brave or already with a group of friends? PS I have troubles keeping my self esteem up, so if someone snubbed me, it would really hurt my feelings.”
You know what? There is actually a positive side of getting snubbed off…When they “snub you off” you now know that the guy or girl is not worth wasting your time over anyway. Anyone that would just snub someone else is pretty self centered. Also, never presume that will happen. A lot of people out there are in the same boat as you…Looking for new friends, or just “a friend” for that matter, and are quite open to the idea of meeting someone new, like you. Most people have a core group of friends that stick in there time and time again, and a number of other friends that sort of come and go. What you have is no different from what many others have, you may just think every else has dozens of friends. Don’t ever think you have to limit who else you see because you may offend your current friends for even a second. If they get mad at you just because you are trying to expand your social circle, they have issues! One good way for you to meet people at school is to become active in the clubs, sporting and other events that happen in your school. If you aren’t into that sort of scene right now, at least look into it. Every person that would be in your “team” or “meetings” are all potential people you could meet and hang out with. As for your self esteem…This will be the corniest thing you will ever hear, but it all comes back to looking in the mirror in the morning and saying “I like me”. No shit! You WILL feel better, just burst out of the house in the morning, proud of who you are, and it will make a tremendous difference. Not only with how YOU feel, but how OTHERS see you. Its very obvious when someone is happy with who they are. Your concern about age and height difference really just isn’t an issue. Its what you make of it. So, enjoy who you are and the rest will all come into place with some effort and fun along the way. That’s life!
Q. What can a lifesaver do for a woman a man can’t? A. Cum in five different flavours.
A man was driving down a quiet country lane when out into the road strayed a rooster. Whack! The rooster disappeared under the car in a cloud of feathers. Shaken, the man pulled over at the farmhouse and rang the doorbell. A farmer appeared. The man somewhat nervously said, “I think I killed your rooster, please allow me to replace him.” “Suit yourself,” the farmer replied, “the hens are round the back.”
“Well here it goes, I’ve was approached by this very good looking girl recently and one of the first things she let me know was that she knew I had a girlfriend and that it doesn’t bother her in the least she has seen me around the neighbourhood and finds me extremely attractive. Well eventually we got together and even though I didn’t get to stroke her, I could tell that she is a lot more excited in the sack then my significant other. I sure that if we get together again we will fuck each others brains out help me quick I need advice pronto! Should I have a night or two of awesome meaningless sex knowing I can get away with it, or should I take this as a sign that I’m not very interested in a relationship anymore? HELP”
Your last line said it all Ezra, sounds like you want to truly fuck the brains out of this girl, and being in a relationship just doesn’t mix with that. Also keep in mind that if you are going to bang her, you may become attached to her. Before you get in that situation, look at her as she is… Someone who doesn’t care that you’re committed to someone else. You know what that means? She won’t care if she’s committed when going out with you! That’s right, if she doesn’t respect other peoples relationships and feelings, why would she with hers? I think I would have saw more mention of your current girlfriend and talking about her qualities if she was more important to you. The only mention here is that she exists, does that tell you something? Sounds like your current relationship maybe isn’t for you at the moment, but is a couple bonk sessions with this other chick Yup, that’s life! |
|
Adrienne, 18 from America writes…
Dr Thatslife has this to say…
Justin, 18 from Knoxville writes…
Copyright © 2008 Visca Corporation. All rights reserved. Unauthorized duplication in part or whole strictly prohibited. Use governed by our legal terms and conditions. Powered by WordPress, thanks guys you're champions. |
