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“Hi Dr Thatslife… I need your help. You see, I am only 13… So right off you are gonna think I am some whore, but here goes. Last week, I was at a huge party at my friends house. She was serving drinks and I had a little to much, in other words, I got totally wasted. She asked me to stay the night because she didn’t want me to go home and get into deep shit with my parents. So I agreed, the next day, I woke up in her moms bed, and there was some dude beside me, and I was naked, and so was he. I flipped out! He looked like he was in his late 20’s. I was looking at his back, so I couldn’t identify him, I got up, walked around the bed and it was my best friends brother! Who is at least 28! I just put my clothes on quickly and ran out of the house in tears. Anyways, since then, I went back to my friends house, because I thought her brother was away. Well, he wasn’t and when he saw me he just smiled and started to laugh. Later on that day I was in the bathroom and as I was walking out, he was in the doorway and he backed me into the bathroom and closed the door. I thought he was going to rape me or something but he just said “you better not tell anyone what happened, I’m waiting for it to happen again.” I was SO scared and I went to leave but he grabbed me. He took out his penis and he told me to touch it and stuff. The whole time I was crying. When he finally let me out, I told my friend I had to leave. She has been asking me what happened and why I seem so upset. Well, I don’t know if I should tell her or not! I am so scared because he told me not to tell. Now every time, he sees me around town, he just smiles. I don’t know what to do!!! Dr. Thatslife… I know you usually don’t handle these problems, but I don’t know what to do and I need someone’s help.”
Anita, this is a very serious situation. You CANNOT attempt to handle this on your own. You need to tell your parents immediately. Describe to them what has happened in every detail. You may not want to do this, but you have to. You may be worried about what they will do when you tell them you went to the party and got drunk, but don’t worry. The problem you have right now far outweighs the drinking issue. Your parents will be much more concerned about what is happening right now. You definitely need to tell people about this. Do not listen to him when he says not to tell anyone. If you keep this quiet, no one will know about what is happening, so no one will be able to help you if there is an emergency. In a case like this, when he says not to tell anyone, it is I think the most important thing you can do is tell your parents immediately. If you have a very very serious communication problem with your parents, tell them anyway, they will understand the importance of this if they have even a shred of morals. If you absolutely cannot tell your parents for whatever serious reason, your next option is the police. This is a criminal matter, that man should not have been saying or doing the things that he did to you. So the police can help you. So tell your parents or police, stay away from the house and places this man lives and visits. Be careful and do not take any unnecessary risks. That’s life.
A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a case of beer, any kind except Schlitz. The bartender says, “What’s wrong with Schlitz, don’t you like it?” The man says, “I hate that shit. Last night I drank a whole case of Schlitz and blew chunks.” The bartender says, “You drink a case of any beer you’re going to blow chunks”. “You don’t understand” said the man, “Chunks is my dog.”
The grieving widow goes to her local newspaper to submit an obituary. The man behind the counter tells her it will cost $5 per word. She thinks for a moment and says “Fred’s dead.” The man then informs her there is a five word minimum. She’ says “Okay… Fred’s dead; Buick for sale”
Q. What’s the difference between love and herpes? A. Love doesn’t last forever.
A woman came up behind her husband while he was enjoying his morning coffee and slapped him on the back of the head. “I found a piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name ‘Marylou’ written on it.” she said, furious. “You had better have an explanation!” “Calm down honey…” the man replied “Remember last week when I was at the dog track? That was the name of the dog I bet on.” A day goes by and the next morning, his wife snuck up on him and smacked him again. “What was that for?” he complained. “Your dog called last night.”
“Dr. Thatslife, I’m having a little dilemma with my new man. Well I don’t know if you can even call him my man really. We’ve been seeing each other for about a month now and its been fun. He’s VERY quiet and he is very nice. The thing is, well, the sex is GREAT. I’ve never had sex like it before. It’s the best that I have ever had. I just don’t know if he likes me for ME or for the sex. He just recently got divorced and he has a little boy. He’s just 3 years older than me. I don’t want a serious relationship either, but I would like to feel wanted other than in bed. I don’t want to scare him off. Should I talk to him about it?”
A good and clear indicator of if you are a fuck friend to him or not is whether you actually do anything outside of the bed. Does he call you up just to talk? Does he take you out to dinner, on dates, movies, etc? When you go over to his place are there times when you do OTHER things, or nights where you just lay off the physical complete? If all you ever do is fuck then YES, you are a blowup doll. If you have this voice inside of you that keeps saying he is using you, that is usually because he is. Listen to that gut feeling and act on what it is saying… If you do all the things I just described to you that are non-sexual things then you probably aren’t a fuck friend. Talk to him about how you feel and get the facts straight from the source, he may be looking for different things in the relationship then you. You just don’t know until you talk to him. Him coming out of most likely a bad marriage (hence the divorce) would indicate sex life hasn’t been great for him and he may be making up for lost time, just wants a “lite” recovery relationship - who knows!? Yes, the best thing to do is talk with him about it all and see where you stand. Otherwise your over active imagination will answer your questions for you. That’s Life!
Back in the early twenties, organ grinders used to go into bars with their pet monkeys and entertain the customers for tips. This particular grinder walks into a bar with his pet monkey and states that he can play any tune that they want to hear. With that, he perches the monkey on the end of the bar, and the monkey is hopping down the bar, when it plops his ass on top of a drunk’s glass. The drunk yells, “Shay, old man, duh yah know your monkeys got his ass in my beer?” The organ grinder replies, “No, but go ahead and hum a few bars, and I’ll pick it up from there.”
“I have been dating this guy for a year and a half. Sometimes I think I should leave him. I think maybe I could be happier. But I don’t know. We’ve got the whole trust thing, where I know he wont leave me or cheat on me. We talk about marriage, and I know it would be a steady marriage, but I don’t know if I could be getting more. But then I think, every woman is disappointed in her b-f or husband. They are always complaining. Do I take feeling secure or trying to find more happiness? Is that whole being in love so much, and being SO happy even real? Oh, what to do? Do I put up with his many faults, and stay happy because I know I at least have someone who is at least good enough and will always be there, or do I go and try to find this amazing guy who may or may not be out there?”
No… Every woman isn’t disappointed in her boyfriend or husband. They may be always complaining but that doesn’t they tell you the whole story. People love to complain and very often can miss the good side of things. Or they could be right, and really do have shit awful boyfriends or husbands. Just because your friends aren’t happy doesn’t mean you must have the same fate. Learn from their mistakes rather then plot them on your map to stop and visit. If sometimes you “think you should leave” him, listen to that voice. You keep talking about how you can depend on him being there for you, but past that, it doesn’t sound like he has much else on offer. But isn’t that dependability really supposed to be part of any solid relationship? Its just not that special of a feature to warrant staying with someone. Its like saying you want to buy a particular car because it has a warranty. Well, so do lots of other cars out there that are just as good or better! It sounds for the time you have put into this relationship, you haven’t got much out of it. I would say move on or at least explore your options. Talking about marriage is way too far ahead to what you SHOULD be thinking about. You need to sit down and ask yourself, “What am I getting out of this relationship if I stay with him for another year” for example. Can you or can you not come up with some compelling reasons for you to stay with him? The fact that he will be around could mean anything from he loves you to you being his comfort zone. Having what you forecast to be a “steady marriage” sounds fucking awful. You want to at LEAST go INTO the marriage with dreams of being fulfilling with a solid all around relationship with someone you really do love. If you are talking about his “many faults”, that sure as hell isn’t marriage, or even boyfriend material. Why settle for that? Feel secure OR find happiness you ask? You want both! That’s Life!
Q. What’s the difference between a woman and a washing machine? A. You can bung your load into a washing machine and it won’t call you a week later.
Michigan, USA (Jokes Palace Newsroom) – Movie enthusiast Brad Densley was admitted to the emergency room of a local Michigan hospital Thursday evening, and was later pronounced dead. This was after being brutally beaten in a movie theatre for answering his mobile phone during a pivotal moment in the movie’s plot. Right away the whimsical monotone song the cell phone rang to immediately started people hissing and moving around in their seats. “As soon as I heard Jingle Bells from across the theatre in mid August, I wanted to hurt someone.” said one audience member with a notable look of anger and hatred in his face. But when Mr. Densley then answered the phone, began talking pleasantries in an almost normal voice and proceeded to relay a shopping list to his wife, the audience went absolutely nuts. “It was when he started with the shopping list and he got down to the third item which was, I don’t know, milk or something. I really wanted to stick that phone up his ass. Everyone started plowing over rows of seats to get to the guy and ring his neck, including myself.” commented one person involved in the beating. “From the moment I saw him in the front lobby I knew he was an arrogant loser from his ill coordinated NY Yankees hat and LA Lakers t-shirt.” stated one man who was able to get a few kidney shots into Mr. Densley before leaving the theatre in disgust on Thursday. When interviewing the wife of Mr. Densley she stated, “This sort of thing has happened before and each time I was beyond embarrassed. But I never thought it would escalate from minor fist fights and kicking matches to the point where he loses his life. I am disappointed that the theatre staff looked the other way and did nothing to prevent my husband’s death, with one usher in fact joining in on the beatings.” Six men and two women were later charged and sentenced to appear in court, eleven others were issued warnings. |
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Anita, 13 from California writes…
Dr Thatslife has this to say…
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