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“It all started a year ago, I was 17 pregnant, and out of school. My boyfriend at the time decided we should be married, but neither of us really wanted to and it ended up happening anyway. Well, the big day finally came when I had my son. I had never been happier. My life was so perfect and filled with joy, but almost ten months later my son passed away, and my entire life was destroyed. I finally came to terms with what had happened and continued to live my life for my son because I know he wouldn’t want me to give up. My husband on the other hand won’t do anything, literally anything. He refused to get a job, help around the house, or anything. That doesn’t work, we ended up having to move in with my parents. I help pay for as much as I can and my husband finally got a job, but things still aren’t right. I switched jobs and truly love my new one, BUT I also made a new friend whom I have become quite attached to. He, my new friend, doesn’t want a relationship, so that’s not a problem but he has made me realize just how unhappy I am with my husband. We’ve been together, dating and marriage, for two years now and have done nothing but fight from the beginning and at times they even become quite violent. I want to leave my husband but I am not sure how to do it. There’s nothing to salvage in this relationship and I fell that it isn’t fair to either of us to have to deal with it. Can you help to sort all this out, or at least put me on the right track to fixing my life?”
You are doing the right thing by ending this relationship and moving on in your life. The relationship doesn’t work, basically never has, and there is no advantage to staying. He is holding you back, and I’m sure you know that. Living with someone who has no ambition to be something and no motivation to contribute in the relationship must be a fucking nightmare. Such a downer to be with day in and day out. Then to cap it off there are the petty arguments, the violence, its a package that doesn’t need a delicate way to get out, just GET OUT! First thing you will want to do is create a support network. Involve the people in your life that care about you and that can help you through this. People like your parents, friends, possibly even co-workers, whoever you think can help you through these times. Talk to them! Even if it is just to tell them how you feel, you will learn a lot about yourself through these conversations. See if they can help you develop a plan on how you are going to do this and what to do after you leave him. Don’t go into this without a plan in mind. Next, make sure you understand why you are leaving before making any moves. If you don’t, he may try to win you back and if you don’t have all the reasons in your head, he may convince you. You want to be mentally prepared to just shut him off and go. You have given me plenty of reasons why you don’t even need to listen to his sob stories about how he will try harder and change his ways. It just ain’t gonna happen. Next, don’t worry about feelings. Either sit him down, tell him you have had enough and you or leaving, or just pick up and LEAVE. Don’t be afraid of this, it sounds like you can be independent if you want or need to be. It sounds more like your supporting him then anything else. You will probably need to be with your parents or friends while you get your life sorted out, but that doesn’t sound like an issue. Explain the situation to them and that you would truly be appreciative of their support in this difficult time. I’m sure they would be happy to help in any way possible and would probably think highly of you telling this guy to get fucked. Also you are lucky you have a job, and one that you like. Be strong, take the initiative, and end something that has been going on much longer then it should. I think you will have a new found sense of freedom and enjoyment you only just begun to taste when you started talking with that guy you were telling me about. When you felt good talking to him, that was a pretty clear indicator that what you’re in right now, just isn’t right. How do you “fix your life”? After you have left him, cut communication with him. If he tries to call you or get in contact with you, make it difficult or impossible. You need time away from him to collect your thoughts and be with others who care about you. Start building stronger ties with friends. Be around positive people who have their act together. It will be a nice change over being around a looser, almost invigorating! Work hard in your job, decide what you want in terms of a long term career, a position to work towards. Take up interests that you want to do such as hobbies, sports, classes on topics you want to learn etc. Before you know it, you will have a busy life, that is fulfilling and one you will be happy with. Things, although it may take time, will fall into place in their due time. Please do what you propose, though. Its so easy to just let things continue on and continually put it off saying, “Oh, things will get better.” or “It will be too difficult on my own.” , JUST CUT THE CRAP AND LEAVE HIM… PRONTO! That’s Life!
Saturday morning I got up early, put on my long johns, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to hook the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. There was snow mixed with the rain and the wind was blowing 50 mph. I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad throughout the day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. There I cuddled up to my wife’s back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, “The weather out there is terrible.” She sleepily replied, “Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that shit.”
“My current boyfriend of about a month and a half is by far not a virgin. In fact, he’s used to being a ‘playa’ and getting it often. He is 18, and said he lost his virginity at 16. When he met me, he knew he only wanted me, so we began to go out, and soon became an item. I was quite innocent when we began going out, and he became my first everything except kiss. He now wants me to have sex with him, but I have expressed to him that I want to wait for marriage. We seem to have the same conversation about sex every few days, and each time he seems to understand my point of view. But each time we’re together again, he brings it up again, even though he knows it upsets me. He says he loves me, and I love him too, but there ain’t that much love in the world for me to disrespect myself that way, what should I do?? Please help!”
Your last line summed it up perfectly, he basically wants you to “disrespect yourself”, for him. He isn’t respecting your beliefs or values whatsoever! If he really did love you and understand you, he wouldn’t be on your case about it all the time. This is a decision you came to and he isn’t willing to appreciate that or understand the reasoning behind it. There are a whole number of reasons why you probably rightfully chose not to have sex until marriage. Most importantly as far as I’m concerned, is your protecting yourself from the potential ramifications of sex such as unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. Both of which have the possibility of really screwing up your life big time. Making sex something not to be taken lightly or be done because of persuasion by someone else that doesn’t respect them self as much. This is all aside from the fact that you have only been going out for a month and a half, and if he’s been nagging you for weeks on this already I bet, so what’s his god dam rush!? I’m sure he throws this whole bullshit “I’m a playa” thing in your face as a way of making you feel bad, and to give in to his request since “everyone else has done it”. Well, that brings up it’s own interesting point. If he really is this pimp mac daddy fuck like he says he is, that bumps up the STD risk factor big time. Knocking boots with him is starting to sound a lot more scary. I think the decision you have made shows the strength of who you are. Changing the decision because of a boyfriends desire to have sex with you, only shows weakness. You need to make it very clear to him that under no circumstance will the two of you be having sex. This can be accomplished by the usual sit down conversation, somewhere in private and neutral. Do not be afraid that he will become disinterested in you or break up because of this. If he does, he was the wrong person for you anyway. If he is in this for the right reasons, he will understand and no longer hammer you over the head about this. You have a good sense of what you want and who you are, don’t let a self proclaimed “player” take that from you. That’s Life!
A husband and wife and their two sons are watching TV. She looks at her husband and winks at him, he gets the message and says, “Excuse us for a few minutes boys, we’re going up to our room for a little while.” Pretty soon one of the boys becomes curious, goes upstairs and sees the door to his parents bedroom is ajar. He peeks in for a few minutes, trots downstairs, gets his little brother and takes him up to peek into the bedroom. “Before you look in there,” he says, “keep in mind this is the same woman who smacked our asses just for sucking our thumbs.”
“My fiancé and I have been together for almost 3 years. I have a tendency to catch a lot of colds and flues. When I’m sick, I just don’t have the urge to be intimate with him and he gets so angry. I have had the flu for almost a
Tell him to FUCK OFF AND GIVE YOU SOME SPACE! Nobody feels particularly romantic with snot dribbling out of their nose. He’s just going to have to grow up and understand that this is life and he is going to have to deal with it. The very last thing you need is some guy sulking around the house and giving you the cold shoulder, all because you’re sick and don’t want to bonk his brains out! Isn’t a husband supposed to be there for you “in sick and in health”? Tada, your sick! If he ain’t there for you now, he sure as hell isn’t going to be when your actually married. I mean common! The whole concept of a cold is that your tired and have no energy. Getting it on is the LAST thing on your mind. If he’s so keen to release his urges, tell him to go have a tug of war with Cyclops in the fucking can. Promise him when your better, you’ll be revving to go. But until then, he’s going to have to focus on something other then himself and accept what your going through, and JUST POSSIBLY, help you out and make you feel a bit better, instead of a lot worse. This “not talking to you” stuff is absolutely childish. Is this how he reacts to other things that don’t go his way as well? I bet it is. That’s Life!
From the cover of this Michelina’s Noodles Stroganoff microwave dinner, it would appear aunty Michelina herself expertly crafted a stroganoff so delicate and tantalizing that even the most well versed Italian food connoisseur would be left speechless with delight. With salvia dripping from my chin I deposited it into the microwave and nuked as directed. The three beeps of victory were heard and I eagerly removed it from the nuker. Cracked open the lid to reveal its bounty, only to discover what I would best describe as ‘vomit in a box’. Reality sure does suck, doesn’t it…
Q. What does the receptionist at the sperm clinic say when clients are leaving? A. Thanks for coming!
“Well I have this “friend” that’s a guy and we’ve been talking on and off for about 5 months now. The thing is, that he’s 19 and he goes to college and I don’t see him very much right now. But when we first started talking he was so nice to me and we spent a lot of time together over Christmas and new years. Now that he’s in school, I only see him maybe once in 3 weeks, if that. In February he started talking to his old girlfriend again that he had been dating for over a year. But a month ago he came to see me and we were together that night. He keeps telling me that he wants to have sex, but I don’t think I’m ready. I really like him and I don’t think he even knows how much I care about him. He isn’t sure about what his relationship is with his old girlfriend. And I am not sure what to do about him. I like being with him and doing things, but I don’t think I’m ready to give in all the way. When I talked to him the other day he got angry because I told him I wasn’t sure if I was ready or not. In a way I think that he just wants to have sex and that’s it, but then sometimes I think that he really enjoys being with me and wants a relationship. What should I do?”
This is ridiculous. Your 15, the wrong age to be getting into this kind of shit. He never spends time with you (really), he is still sitting on the fence on the whole ex-girlfriend situation, but he thinks it sure would be nice to bop you. Your not even dating him! He has made no level of commitment to you, you could give in and go all the way, and he can technically go around to his girlfriends house the next day and do her too. That’s the kind of situation your setting yourself up for. It sounds like he’s taking you for a major ride. The fact that he got angry when you voiced your opinion of not having sex only concreted the fact he’s a fucking idiot that doesn’t value you, or the fact that this is completely not appropriate. I would say just leave this guy out of the picture, or at the very most keep him as a casual FRIEND. As in, lets go watch a movie, or lets go talk over coffees. Step back and actually come up with some reasons as to exactly why you like him and think he’s a good guy, I think you will really have to search around to find any - if your honest with yourself. It maybe all cool in dream world to get wrapped up in some 19 year old guy that shows interest in you, but reality says its just bad news. If he really enjoyed being with you and cared about you he would put more effort into it then seeing you once every three weeks, and wouldn’t push you into something you didn’t want to do and weren’t ready for. You have lots of time ahead of you in life to find the right person to make love with for the first time. What you have right now is just plain sex with someone you don’t love. Save it for someone you really do love, or you’ll regret it when you look back at it all. I’m sure of it. That’s Life!
Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wives. “Does your wife ever do it doggy style?” asked the one. “Well… not exactly.” his friend replied, “She’s more into the trick dog aspect of it.” “Oh, I see, so she’s kinky eh?” he asked curiously. “Well… not exactly… I sit up and beg, and she rolls over and plays dead.”
Q. What if the Pilgrims had killed cats instead of turkeys? A. We’d be eating pussy every Thanksgiving. |
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Tammy, 18 from America writes…
Dr Thatslife has this to say…
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