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Q. What’s the best part of having a homeless girlfriend? A. You can drop her off where ever you want!
“Well… To me, my problem seems rather complicated, but here it goes (takes a deep breath)… I have a boyfriend who I have been dating for a little over 2 and a half years now. He’s decided to go on a week’s vacation in Colorado with a bunch of his guy friends and won’t be back until late next Tuesday. Sure, he’ll have fun and everything, but I’m scared that something will happen to him. I’m not talking about serious things like him getting killed or something, but things like getting drunk, on the count he doesn’t drink, meeting girls there and falling in love with them like a fool, forgetting about me when he comes back, or beginning to lose interest in spending time with me and spending much more time with his friends. You know, it’s shit like that. This is his first time going on vacation without me and like whenever I don’t see him or talk to him for a long time, I get worried that something bad would happen. I hope you don’t think I’m crazy saying all of this. What do you think I should do?”
What should you do??? Tell him to “have a good time on his trip” as you kiss him goodbye! It can be very easy in a situation like this to let your imagination, fueled by insecurity and dependency, run away from you and blow the whole thing way out of proportion. Before you know it, this trip has been recreated down to the finest level of detail in your head (before it has even happened, of course) into a giant drunken orgy starring your boyfriend and the local Colorado sluts. However, you need to get a grip and look at it for what it really is and decide if the threat in your mind is for real or not. There is nothing complicated about this. Your boyfriend has decided to have a trip with the guys. Period. Why would you think for even a moment that your boyfriend would change his patterns of behavior over night? He has been committed to you for over TWO AND A HALF YEARS. Doesn’t that give you a hint that he has dedicated himself to you? From your consultation, it doesn’t appear that he has ever given you a reason to doubt his faithfulness to you before. Why would he blow almost 3 years of a good thing on some weekend drunken fling? For that matter, it doesn’t sound like he usually drinks in the first place! So why do you automatically assume he will suddenly practice binge drinking as soon as he goes on a trip?! If they had women going on the trip, I could see cause for alarm, but its a bunch of guys doing guy stuff Alexa! Trust is a major component of a long term relationship, it sounds like he is a responsible person, so live up to your part of the trust and TRUST HIM!!! You need to remind yourself that you love him, he loves you and some out of town chick isn’t going to stand between that. It could even be that this time away actually brings the two of you closer! Yup, being apart can make partners really realize what they have waiting for them back home! What can you do to help yourself through this? Ask him to call you a couple of times during the trip and let you know everything is ok. You will know from his voice and what he says everything is just fine. But DON’T turn it into an over-the-phone interrogation! Just ask him how everything is and whether the trip is going well. Also, do your own stuff! Get the girls together for some fun - you don’t have to miss out on having a good time. If you sit at home every night brewing over all the things your boyfriend “could be” doing, YOU WILL DRIVE YOURSELF NUTS! He is going to do what he is going to do whether you worry about it or not, so why worry!? Don’t forget it goes both ways, he could possibly be thinking the same way about you! Now you think, “Well I would never do those things to him!”, so why are you worried about him doing them to you? That’s Life!
Q. What’s the definition of eternity? A. The time between when you cum and she leaves.
We all do it, but some do it more than others. There is nothing more satisfying than when you’re digging for gold and you score a king sized nugget ripe for the picking. So be honest, how much do you give the ol’ air holes a good stoking?
Q. What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog. A. After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
A guy drives over to his woman’s place for some sack action. As they are getting into it, he whips out three condoms and says “I’ve got gold, silver and a bronze, which one should we use?” Looking them over, the woman replies “Silver!” Puzzled the guy asks “Why didn’t you pick gold?” To which she replies “Because I want YOU to come second for once!”
“I seem to be setting myself up for failure in relationships. By this I mean, I seem to get attached to women that are long distances away (knowing those don’t work) or women that are far above my level. I think that this is a problem for me in that I think I may be afraid of getting hurt or something. If I try to hook up with a woman on my level (1-10) I find myself getting bored easily. What do you think? If you agree that it’s a problem what are some steps you’d recommend for resolution?”
Tony, its all really similar to a game of basketball. Say two people have a chance to get an awesome shot during a game, both having equal playing skills. Which one will get it in, the one that says, “This shot looks hard, I don’t think I’m going to get it in!” or the one saying “This ball’s going home to Dunkland baby!!!”? I’m trying to illustrate that people limit themselves by what they feel they are worth, deserve or are capable of. Those people will only ever achieve what levels they limited themselves to mentally. Same goes for you! This “levels” stuff you are talking about is horse shit. Right in your consultation you provide an excellent example where these supposed “level” limitations have failed you. You went out with girls you say are your level, and they sucked! Your negative dating experiences are from you subconsciously seeking partners who will be wrong for you, because that is what you THINK you deserve. You will be bored or displeased with all of the girls you date because your negativity, insecurities and lack of self confidence are picking these girls for you! You need to throw the self limiting “protection” and low opinions away, because it is harming you more than saving you. How, you ask? By really appreciating your values and who you are! The people you date are a very strong projection of how you feel about yourself. If you are unhappy with yourself and have low self esteem, you are typically going to attract people in a similar mind set or people who will exemplify your self worth. If on the other hand you are positive, enjoy who you are and not limiting yourself by a completely unjustifiable “levels system”, you will attract girls you never thought possible! That’s right Tony, your happiness and self confidence will actually ATTRACT these girls into your life, they can sense it a mile away. So, the next time you meet a girl you genuinely like, don’t assign her a level from one to ten and say to yourself “She’s a couple levels above me, she’s out of my league”. Instead, be confident that subconsciously you are attracted to positive qualities in her that you yourself possess and that you have much to offer her. Be proud of who you are and when faced with a situation like dating or anything in life for that matter, tell yourself you can achieve it and that you DO deserve what you’re looking for. That’s Life!
Baltimore, USA (Jokes Palace Newsroom) – In fear of possibly disturbing the perfection that is his house, Donald Manison has been forced to live in his 1998 Dodge Caravan. “I became obsessive, everything in the house was so photo-perfect that I was eventually scared of walking on the carpet in fear that I might disturb the direction of the carpet threads.” Magazines wanting a glimpse and photos of the perfect house were limited to viewing through opened ground floor windows. When asked how long he will continue his present lifestyle he replied, “If living in my mini-van is payment for a perfect house, I’m willing to pay.”
A woman walks up to an old man sitting in a chair on his porch. “I couldn’t help but notice how happy you look,” she said. “What’s your secret for a long, happy life?” “I smoke three packs a day, drink a case of beer, eat fatty foods, and never, ever exercise,” he replied. “Wow, that’s amazing,” she said, “How old are you?” “Twenty-six.”
“I am 23 and my ex is 22. Recently she dumped me because I withdrew from the relationship months ago. Didn’t want to be around her, didn’t want to have sex with her etc. I know I am better off without her as she has a lot of issues and is very insecure (abusive former boyfriend and broken home). My friends tell me how obvious it was that she was dependent on me, if our relationship hit a little snag, her entire life became chaotic. On Sunday, she said she loves me, misses me, etc but can’t be with me. She said “we are over– FOR NOW.” I saw that as she is trying to push me to see how far I will go, she did this with other relationships in her life with friends, roommates, neighbors, etc. I have decided I want out, but I am concerned that she will try to contact me, like she will continue to try to insert herself into my life to see if I will get her back. I just don’t have time for it and I am trying to figure out what I should anticipate. I am sad, but I realize I don’t miss her, i just miss having someone. My question is this: do you think that I have not heard the last from an ex who was so dependent on me? If / when she does contact me, should I attempt to severe all ties or will that make her come after me more intensely?”
Yeah, she will be back like a bad horror movie sequel. You definitely did the right thing, so stick to it. It sounds like it was past its due date, fell apart and it will most likely take her a while to come to the level of closure on the issue that you have achieved. In your mind you are very clear about the situation, “I am sad, but don’t miss her, I miss having someone”. That right there was the key to it all. You understand that you will hurt from the breakup, which is of course natural; you have no feelings for her, hence the realization of not actually missing her; but are realistic about the fact that you were most likely with her for the last half of the relationship to “have someone”, and now you don’t. She will most likely not come to that realization for a while - and until she sorts out her thoughts and gets closer to that level of mental and emotional closure, there are probably going to be phone calls, visits to your house etc. The fact that she says “we are over” and appends “for now” means she has no idea what she feels or is thinking, basically. When she does call or try to talk to you, explain to her you really just don’t have any further interest in talking with her, and that the times you two spent together in the past were good (if they actually were), but things have really come to an end and we both need to move on in our lives. You don’t have to be an asshole while talking to her, just be clear, decisive and to the point about your intentions with her. Be most of all clear, that you are not interested in getting back together. Don’t compromise and end up as friends or be tempted to be fuck friends if the opportunity comes around (there are many ways she may try to lure you back). Being either of those will complicate the matter for both of you and especially for her and leaves the door open in her mind for getting back together. After that conversation, cut ties and become unresponsive to whatever communication she manages to have with you. Don’t worry Ted, you are on the right track, just ride it out. That’s Life! |
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Alexa, 22 from America writes…
Dr Thatslife has this to say…
Tony, 24 from Portland writes…
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