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Rude Limericks

Get kicked out of more pubs than usual while reciting our stunningly rude limericks to your buddies. Read line after line of hideously crass limerick lyrics that will leave everyone giggling like a bunch of school girls frolicking on the beach.


Rude Limericks

Little Sheep Limerick

Posted March 19th, 2008 at 7:30 pm in Rude Limericks

Mary had a little sheep,
and with this sheep,
she went to sleep,
the sheep turned out,
to be a ram,
and Mary had a little lamb!



Rude Limericks

Maiden Named Jill Limerick

Posted March 12th, 2008 at 7:30 pm in Rude Limericks

A sexy young maiden named Jill,
tried a dynamite stick for a thrill,
they found her vagina,
in North Carolina,
and bits of her tits in Brazil.



Rude Limericks

Man From St. Paul Limerick

Posted March 6th, 2008 at 7:29 pm in Rude Limericks

There once was a man from St. Paul,
who swore he had but one ball,
two dirty young bitches,
tore down his breeches,
and found he had none at all.



Rude Limericks

Soldier Sarge Limerick

Posted February 29th, 2008 at 9:48 pm in Rude Limericks

A soldier known only as Sarge,
had sex with a hooker named Marge,
though only a grunt,
he assaulted her cunt,
and gave her an honorable discharge.



Rude Limericks

Man From St. Rose Limerick

Posted February 28th, 2008 at 7:28 pm in Rude Limericks

There was a young man from St. Rose,
whose love life was so full of woes,
he loved sixty-nine,
he’d do it all the time,
but always got shit on his nose.



Rude Limericks

Hag Named Van Cleef Limerick

Posted February 21st, 2008 at 7:28 pm in Rude Limericks

There was an old hag named Van Cleef,
who was constantly passing a queef.
one day while visiting the farm,
she passed one meaning no harm,
but killed the whole herd of beef.



Rude Limericks

Man From Moline Limerick

Posted February 19th, 2008 at 7:28 pm in Rude Limericks

There once was a man from Moline,
who made a jack off machine,
at thirty-two strokes,
the cock sucker broke,
and turned his balls into cream!



Rude Limericks

Man Named Eugene Limerick

Posted February 14th, 2008 at 7:25 pm in Rude Limericks

There once was a man named Eugene,
who invented a screwing machine,
concave and convex,
it served either sex,
and it played with itself in between.



Rude Limericks

Woman From Wheeling

Posted February 8th, 2008 at 7:24 pm in Rude Limericks

There was a young woman from Wheeling,
bereft of all sexual feeling,
but when a young man named Boris,
patiently licked her clitoris,
she had to be scraped off the ceiling.



Rude Limericks

Man From Calcutta Limerick

Posted February 4th, 2008 at 7:26 pm in Rude Limericks

There once was a man from Calcutta.
he jerked off in a gutter,
the tropical heat,
affected his meat,
and instead of cream he got butter.





 


Text Messages

 
Darin (Aug 06):

You’re about as attractive as a rectal prolapse.



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