Rude Limericks

Vampire Called Mable Limerick Posted October 22nd, 2008 in Rude Limericks

There was a young vampire called mable,
whose periods were always quite stable,
at every full moon,
she took out a spoon,
and drank herself under the table.

Fellow O’Doole Limerick Posted October 15th, 2008 in Rude Limericks

There once was a fellow O’Doole,
who found little red spots on his tool,
his doctor a cynic,
said get out of me clinic,
and wipe off that lipstick you fool!

Man From Kent Limerick Posted October 8th, 2008 in Rude Limericks

There was a man from Kent,
who had a penis so long it bent,
it was so much trouble,
that he kept it double,
and instead of coming he went.

Plumber From Lee Limerick Posted October 1st, 2008 in Rude Limericks

There once was a plumber from Lee,
who was plumbing his girl by the sea,
she said “Stop your plumbing”,
“there’s somebody coming”,
said the plumber still plumbing… “It’s me!”

Fellow McSweeny Limerick Posted September 24th, 2008 in Rude Limericks

There once was a fellow McSweeny,
who spilled some gin on his weenie,
just to be couth,
he added vermouth,
then slipped his girlfriend a martini.

Man Called O’Keef Limerick Posted September 17th, 2008 in Rude Limericks

Twas a crazy old man called O’Keef,
who caused local farmers much grief,
to their cows he would run,
cut their legs off for fun,
and say “Look, I’ve invented ground beef!”

Man From Madrass Limerick Posted September 10th, 2008 in Rude Limericks

There once was a man from Madrass,
whose balls were made out of brass,
when he’d bang ‘em together,
they’d play stormy weather,
and lightning would shoot out of his ass.

Man From Bonaire Limerick Posted September 3rd, 2008 in Rude Limericks

There once was a man from Bonaire,
who was doing his wife on the stair,
when the banister broke,
he doubled his stroke,
and finished her off in midair.

Man From Bombay Limerick Posted August 20th, 2008 in Rude Limericks

There once was a man from bombay,
who fashioned a cunt outta clay,
the heat from his prick,
turned it to brick,
and scowered his foreskin away.

Girl Named Tristan Posted August 13th, 2008 in Rude Limericks

There once was a girl named Tristan,
whose beer that she ordered was was pissed in,
she said “I don’t think”,
as she spit out her drink,
“On the menu that this one was listed.”

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