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Rude Limericks
Get kicked out of more pubs than usual while reciting our stunningly rude limericks to your buddies. Read line after line of hideously crass limerick lyrics that will leave everyone giggling like a bunch of school girls frolicking on the beach.
There was a young gypsy girl Rose,
with obsessions for gentlemens’ hose,
up her pussy, her rear,
in her mouth and each ear,
and her cute little freckle-tipped nose.
There was an old lady from Wheeling,
who had a funny feeling,
she laid on her back,
and tickled her crack,
and pissed all over the ceiling.
There once was this guy named Stan,
who had some trouble being a man,
he wore a dress and high heels,
and drove a Chevrolet with pink wheels,
and soon Stan became a tran.
There once was a man from Monclair,
who screwed his wife on the stair,
the banister broke,
he quickened his stroke,
and finished her off in the air.
There once was this guy named Gored,
whose girlfriend was as flat as a board,
he’d suck as hard as he could,
and pulled them more then he should,
but soon even Gored got bored.
Mary had a little sheep,
and with this sheep,
she went to sleep,
the sheep turned out,
to be a ram,
and Mary had a little lamb!
A sexy young maiden named Jill,
tried a dynamite stick for a thrill,
they found her vagina,
in North Carolina,
and bits of her tits in Brazil.
There once was a man from St. Paul,
who swore he had but one ball,
two dirty young bitches,
tore down his breeches,
and found he had none at all.
A soldier known only as Sarge,
had sex with a hooker named Marge,
though only a grunt,
he assaulted her cunt,
and gave her an honorable discharge.
There was a young man from St. Rose,
whose love life was so full of woes,
he loved sixty-nine,
he’d do it all the time,
but always got shit on his nose.
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