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Rude Limericks

Get kicked out of more pubs than usual while reciting our stunningly rude limericks to your buddies. Read line after line of hideously crass limerick lyrics that will leave everyone giggling like a bunch of school girls frolicking on the beach.


Rude Limericks

Vampire Called Mable Limerick

Posted October 22nd, 2008 in Rude Limericks

There was a young vampire called mable,
whose periods were always quite stable,
at every full moon,
she took out a spoon,
and drank herself under the table.



Rude Limericks

Fellow O’Doole Limerick

Posted October 15th, 2008 in Rude Limericks

There once was a fellow O’Doole,
who found little red spots on his tool,
his doctor a cynic,
said get out of me clinic,
and wipe off that lipstick you fool!



Rude Limericks

Man From Kent Limerick

Posted October 8th, 2008 in Rude Limericks

There was a man from Kent,
who had a penis so long it bent,
it was so much trouble,
that he kept it double,
and instead of coming he went.



Rude Limericks

Plumber From Lee Limerick

Posted October 1st, 2008 in Rude Limericks

There once was a plumber from Lee,
who was plumbing his girl by the sea,
she said “Stop your plumbing”,
“there’s somebody coming”,
said the plumber still plumbing… “It’s me!”



Rude Limericks

Fellow McSweeny Limerick

Posted September 24th, 2008 in Rude Limericks

There once was a fellow McSweeny,
who spilled some gin on his weenie,
just to be couth,
he added vermouth,
then slipped his girlfriend a martini.



Rude Limericks

Man Called O’Keef Limerick

Posted September 17th, 2008 in Rude Limericks

Twas a crazy old man called O’Keef,
who caused local farmers much grief,
to their cows he would run,
cut their legs off for fun,
and say “Look, I’ve invented ground beef!”



Rude Limericks

Man From Madrass Limerick

Posted September 10th, 2008 in Rude Limericks

There once was a man from Madrass,
whose balls were made out of brass,
when he’d bang ‘em together,
they’d play stormy weather,
and lightning would shoot out of his ass.



Rude Limericks

Man From Bonaire Limerick

Posted September 3rd, 2008 in Rude Limericks

There once was a man from Bonaire,
who was doing his wife on the stair,
when the banister broke,
he doubled his stroke,
and finished her off in midair.



Rude Limericks

Man From Bombay Limerick

Posted August 20th, 2008 in Rude Limericks

There once was a man from bombay,
who fashioned a cunt outta clay,
the heat from his prick,
turned it to brick,
and scowered his foreskin away.



Rude Limericks

Girl Named Tristan

Posted August 13th, 2008 in Rude Limericks

There once was a girl named Tristan,
whose beer that she ordered was was pissed in,
she said “I don’t think”,
as she spit out her drink,
“On the menu that this one was listed.”



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Text Messages

 
Kevin (May 19):

Your mom was great last night, but a bit on the expensive side.

 

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