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Rude Limericks
Get kicked out of more pubs than usual while reciting our stunningly rude limericks to your buddies. Read line after line of hideously crass limerick lyrics that will leave everyone giggling like a bunch of school girls frolicking on the beach.
There once was a man named Dave,
who kept a dead whore in a cave,
she had only one tit,
and smelled worse than shit,
but think of the money Dave saved.
There once was a man from Kubot
who lived off of toe jam and snot,
when he had none of these,
he lived off the cheese,
from the tip of his grungy old cock.
There once was a man from Nantucket,
whose cock was so long he could suck it,
while licking his chin,
he said with a grin,
if my ear was a pussy I’d fuck it.
Little Willie Winkle,
with a thirst for gore,
stapled his sister to the door,
“Now Willie”, his mother said with humor quaint,
“Don’t do that, you’ll scratch the paint”.
There once was a man named Ken,
who banged a girl in his den,
he knew something’s wrong,
when a wart grew on his shlong,
and now he’s in his den with Ben.
There once was a woman from Timbuktu,
who was still a virgin at twenty two,
till her boyfriend came along,
and pumped her all night long,
now she’s at home with a baby named lulu.
There once was this guy called Mike,
who met this chick he really liked,
he tried to get near,
and she gave him a sneer,
cause the chick was a full-fledged dyke.
There once was a man from York,
who picked his nose with a fork,
when it got stuck,
he cried “I don’t give a fuck”,
and walked around looking like a dork.
There once was a man from Peru,
who fell asleep in a canoe,
while dreaming of Venus,
he played with his penis,
and woke up all covered with goo.
There was a young gypsy girl Rose,
with obsessions for gentlemens’ hose,
up her pussy, her rear,
in her mouth and each ear,
and her cute little freckle-tipped nose.
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