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Rude Limericks

Get kicked out of more pubs than usual while reciting our stunningly rude limericks to your buddies. Read line after line of hideously crass limerick lyrics that will leave everyone giggling like a bunch of school girls frolicking on the beach.


Rude Limericks

Lass From Tacoma Limerick

Posted January 19th, 2010 in Rude Limericks

I once knew a lass from Tacoma,
whose twat had a wondrous aroma,
when the lads took a whiff,
about half would get stiff,
the rest would fall into a coma.



Rude Limericks

Man From Pompei Limerick

Posted December 31st, 2009 in Rude Limericks

There once was a man from Pompei,
who fashioned a snatch out of clay,
the heat from his prick,
turned the clay into brick,
and tore all his foreskin away.



Rude Limericks

Rabbi of Keith Limerick

Posted December 10th, 2009 in Rude Limericks

There once was a Rabbi of Keith,
who circumsized men with his teeth,
it was not for the treasure,
nor sexual pleasure,
but to get at the cheese underneath.



Rude Limericks

Harlot From Kew Limerick

Posted November 24th, 2009 in Rude Limericks

There was a young harlot from Kew,
who filled her vagina with glue,
she said with a grin,
“If they pay to get in,
they’ll pay to get out of it, too.”



Rude Limericks

Vampire Named Mable Limerick

Posted November 8th, 2009 in Rude Limericks

There once was a vampire named Mable,
whose periods were really quite stable,
and every full moon,
she’d get out a spoon,
and drink herself under the table.



Rude Limericks

Young Woman Named Sally Limerick

Posted November 3rd, 2009 in Rude Limericks

There was a young woman named Sally,
who loved an occasional dally,
she sat on the lap,
of a well endowed chap,
and said “You’re right up my alley!”



Rude Limericks

Girl Named Louise Limerick

Posted October 22nd, 2009 in Rude Limericks

There once was a girl named Louise,
whose cunt-hair hung down to her knees,
so the crabs in her twat
tied the hair in a knot,
and constructed a flying trapeze.



Rude Limericks

Pirate From Yates Limerick

Posted October 1st, 2009 in Rude Limericks

There once was a pirate from Yates,
who could dance the Fandango on skates,
he fell on his cutlass,
which rendered him nut-less,
and perfectly useless on dates.



Rude Limericks

Fellow Named Biddle Limerick

Posted June 25th, 2009 in Rude Limericks

There was a young fellow named Biddle,
who was seldom hard up for a diddle,
and according to rumor,
his tool had a tumor,
and a fine row of warts down the middle.



Rude Limericks

Girl From Whick Limerick

Posted June 9th, 2009 in Rude Limericks

There once was a girl from Whick,
who said to her Mum “What’s a dick?”,
she said “My dear Annie,
it goes up your fanny,
and jumps up and down till it’s sick.”



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Text Messages

 
Ronald (Sep 10):

My specialties include lollygagging, mouth breathing and shitting the bed.

 

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