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Rude Limericks
Get kicked out of more pubs than usual while reciting our stunningly rude limericks to your buddies. Read line after line of hideously crass limerick lyrics that will leave everyone giggling like a bunch of school girls frolicking on the beach.
There was a young fellow named Biddle,
who was seldom hard up for a diddle,
and according to rumor,
his tool had a tumor,
and a fine row of warts down the middle.
There once was a girl from Whick,
who said to her Mum “What’s a dick?”,
she said “My dear Annie,
it goes up your fanny,
and jumps up and down till it’s sick.”
There once was a man with a member,
that would only stand up in December,
he said, “It’s too cold,
for a boner so bold,
I wish it would work in September!”
There once was a man from Brighton
Who said to his girl, “You’re a tight one.”
She said, “Pardon my soul,
but you’re in the wrong hole.
There’s plenty of room in the right one.”
There was a young man from Savannah,
who met his end in a curious manner,
he whittled a hole,
in a telephone pole,
and electrified his banana.
There once was a man named Mort,
whose dick was incredibly short,
when he climbed into bed,
his lady friend said,
“That’s not a dick it’s a wart!”
There was a young lady from China,
who had an enormous vagina,
and when she was dead,
they painted it red,
and used it for docking a liner.
There once was a witch from Azores,
whose ass was all covered with sores,
as she walked down the street,
the dogs leapt at the meat,
that hung in great gobs from her drawers.
The lass I brought home was a prize,
with an alluring set of blue eyes,
her breasts, so well kept,
were what I’d expect,
but her penis was quite a surprise.
There was an old man from China,
Who wasn’t a very good climber,
He fell on a rock,
Split his cock,
And now he’s got a vagina.
« Previous Jokes
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| Bobby (May 06): My nose is bleeding pretty bad, perhaps I should stop picking it so much.
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