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Rude Limericks

Get kicked out of more pubs than usual while reciting our stunningly rude limericks to your buddies. Read line after line of hideously crass limerick lyrics that will leave everyone giggling like a bunch of school girls frolicking on the beach.


Rude Limericks

Fellow Named Biddle Limerick

Posted June 25th, 2009 in Rude Limericks

There was a young fellow named Biddle,
who was seldom hard up for a diddle,
and according to rumor,
his tool had a tumor,
and a fine row of warts down the middle.



Rude Limericks

Girl From Whick Limerick

Posted June 9th, 2009 in Rude Limericks

There once was a girl from Whick,
who said to her Mum “What’s a dick?”,
she said “My dear Annie,
it goes up your fanny,
and jumps up and down till it’s sick.”



Rude Limericks

Man With A Member Limerick

Posted May 4th, 2009 in Rude Limericks

There once was a man with a member,
that would only stand up in December,
he said, “It’s too cold,
for a boner so bold,
I wish it would work in September!”



Rude Limericks

Man From Brighton Limerick

Posted April 21st, 2009 in Rude Limericks

There once was a man from Brighton
Who said to his girl, “You’re a tight one.”
She said, “Pardon my soul,
but you’re in the wrong hole.
There’s plenty of room in the right one.”



Rude Limericks

Young Man From Savannah Limerick

Posted April 7th, 2009 in Rude Limericks

There was a young man from Savannah,
who met his end in a curious manner,
he whittled a hole,
in a telephone pole,
and electrified his banana.



Rude Limericks

Man Named Mort Limerick

Posted March 11th, 2009 in Rude Limericks

There once was a man named Mort,
whose dick was incredibly short,
when he climbed into bed,
his lady friend said,
“That’s not a dick it’s a wart!”



Rude Limericks

Young Lady From China Limerick

Posted February 18th, 2009 in Rude Limericks

There was a young lady from China,
who had an enormous vagina,
and when she was dead,
they painted it red,
and used it for docking a liner.



Rude Limericks

Witch From Azores Limerick

Posted February 13th, 2009 in Rude Limericks

There once was a witch from Azores,
whose ass was all covered with sores,
as she walked down the street,
the dogs leapt at the meat,
that hung in great gobs from her drawers.



Rude Limericks

Lass I Brought Home Limerick

Posted February 5th, 2009 in Rude Limericks

The lass I brought home was a prize,
with an alluring set of blue eyes,
her breasts, so well kept,
were what I’d expect,
but her penis was quite a surprise.



Rude Limericks

Old Man From China Limerick

Posted December 30th, 2008 in Rude Limericks

There was an old man from China,
Who wasn’t a very good climber,
He fell on a rock,
Split his cock,
And now he’s got a vagina.



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Text Messages

 
Bobby (May 06):

My nose is bleeding pretty bad, perhaps I should stop picking it so much.

 

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