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Rude Limericks
Get kicked out of more pubs than usual while reciting our stunningly rude limericks to your buddies. Read line after line of hideously crass limerick lyrics that will leave everyone giggling like a bunch of school girls frolicking on the beach.
There once was a queer from Khartoum,
who took a lesbian up to his room,
they spent the whole night,
in a hell of a fight,
over who should do what, and to whom!
There was an old fellow named Paul,
whose prick was exceedingly small,
when in bed with a lay,
he could screw her all day,
without touching her vaginal wall.
There once was a man from Winsocket,
who rode down the street on a rocket,
the force of the blast,
blew his balls up his ass,
and his pecker was found in his pocket.
A horny young sailor named Clark,
who picked up a slut in a park,
she was ugly and crude,
and a horror when nude,
but she was good for a fuck in the dark.
There once was a man from Fort Myers,
who wrapped his balls up in wire,
he flicked on the switch,
and oh what a bitch,
his balls began to catch fire.
There once was a mathematician named Hall,
who had a hexagon ball,
the cube of its weight,
times his pecker size plus eight,
is his number, give him a call.
In the garden of Eden sat Adam,
massaging the bust of his madam,
he chuckled with mirth,
for he knew that on earth,
there were only two boobs and he had ‘em.
There was a young chap from out yonder,
who buggered a big anaconda,
he regretted this crime,
for the rest of his time,
while the reptile grew fonder and fonder.
An agreeable girl named Miss Doves,
likes to jack off the young men she loves,
she will use her bare fist,
if the fellows insist,
but she really prefers to wear gloves.
There was an old hooker named Chariff,
who let out a monstrous queef,
with the grace of a swan,
she said to her John,
“Does anyone else smell roast beef?”
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| Bobby (May 06): My nose is bleeding pretty bad, perhaps I should stop picking it so much.
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