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Rude Limericks

Get kicked out of more pubs than usual while reciting our stunningly rude limericks to your buddies. Read line after line of hideously crass limerick lyrics that will leave everyone giggling like a bunch of school girls frolicking on the beach.


Rude Limericks

Girl Named Sapphire Limerick

Posted December 2nd, 2011 at 5:22 am in Rude Limericks

There was a young girl named Sapphire,
who succumbed to her lover’s desire,
she said “It’s a sin,
but now that it’s in,
could you shove it a few inches higher?”



Rude Limericks

Girl From Hong Kong Limerick

Posted November 26th, 2011 at 3:17 am in Rude Limericks

There was a young girl from Hong Kong,
whose cervical cap was a gong,
she said with a yell,
as a shot rang her bell,
“I’ll give you a ding for a dong!”



Rude Limericks

Lady From Reno Limerick

Posted November 12th, 2011 at 12:52 pm in Rude Limericks

There once was a lady from Reno,
who lost all her cash playing keno,
so she laid on her back,
opened her crack,
and now she owns the casino.



Rude Limericks

Girl Named Denise Limerick

Posted October 19th, 2011 at 6:45 am in Rude Limericks

There was a young girl named Denise
Who’s pubes hung down to her knees
The crabs got together
To knit her a sweater
So in winter her twat wouldn’t freeze.



Rude Limericks

Old Man From Harrow

Posted October 3rd, 2011 at 3:26 pm in Rude Limericks

There was an old man from Harrow,
who tried to have sex with a sparrow,
the sparrow said “No,
you can’t have a go,
as the hole in my arse is too narrow.”



Rude Limericks

Monk From Dundee Limerick

Posted September 16th, 2011 at 2:36 pm in Rude Limericks

A lascivious monk from Dundee,
buggered a nun under a tree,
while deep in her ass,
he chanted High Mass,
and even the Pope came to see.



Rude Limericks

Pansy From Khartoum Limerick

Posted September 6th, 2011 at 11:45 am in Rude Limericks

There once was a pansy from Khartoum,
who brought a lesbian up to his room,
they argued all night,
over who had the right,
to do what, with which, and to whom.



Rude Limericks

Lass From Kilkenny Limerick

Posted June 10th, 2011 at 8:46 pm in Rude Limericks

There once was a lass from Kilkenny,
whose usual price was a penny,
for half of that sum,
you could finger her bum,
and have money left over for Denny’s.



Rude Limericks

Gigolo Named Bruno Limerick

Posted June 3rd, 2011 at 9:21 pm in Rude Limericks

There was a young gigolo named Bruno,
who said, “Screwing is one thing I do know.
While women are fine,
and sheep are divine,
llama’s are numero uno!”



Rude Limericks

Girl From Shalanker Limerick

Posted January 17th, 2011 at 9:58 am in Rude Limericks

There once was a girl from Shalanker,
whose cunt was as big as a tanker,
you could go for a swim,
in the depths of her quim,
and you needed a lamp post to wank her.





 


Text Messages

 
Timothy (Sep 28):

Two flushes, coat hangers and a plunger equals one big poo.



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