Rude Limericks

There was a young girl named Sapphire,
who succumbed to her lover’s desire,
she said “It’s a sin,
but now that it’s in,
could you shove it a few inches higher?”

There was a young girl from Hong Kong,
whose cervical cap was a gong,
she said with a yell,
as a shot rang her bell,
“I’ll give you a ding for a dong!”

There once was a lady from Reno,
who lost all her cash playing keno,
so she laid on her back,
opened her crack,
and now she owns the casino.

There was a young girl named Denise
Who’s pubes hung down to her knees
The crabs got together
To knit her a sweater
So in winter her twat wouldn’t freeze.

There was an old man from Harrow,
who tried to have sex with a sparrow,
the sparrow said “No,
you can’t have a go,
as the hole in my arse is too narrow.”

A lascivious monk from Dundee,
buggered a nun under a tree,
while deep in her ass,
he chanted High Mass,
and even the Pope came to see.

There once was a pansy from Khartoum,
who brought a lesbian up to his room,
they argued all night,
over who had the right,
to do what, with which, and to whom.

There once was a lass from Kilkenny,
whose usual price was a penny,
for half of that sum,
you could finger her bum,
and have money left over for Denny’s.

There was a young gigolo named Bruno,
who said, “Screwing is one thing I do know.
While women are fine,
and sheep are divine,
llama’s are numero uno!”

There once was a girl from Shalanker,
whose cunt was as big as a tanker,
you could go for a swim,
in the depths of her quim,
and you needed a lamp post to wank her.