Jokes Palace - Dirty Jokes and Humor
All Time Favorites Dirty Jokes Hilarious Videos Twisted Humor Funny Pictures Rude Limericks One Liner Jokes Insane Online Polls Scathing Opinion Life Advice

Life Advice

Dr Thatslife gives you the toughest answers to your toughest questions. Often less than flattering, usually offensive, but always valuable for those life advice questions you need the straight goods on. Dr Thatslife has spent years helping the helpless, now it’s your turn!

Get FREE life advice from Dr Thatslife, click here!

Life Advice

She Won’t Put Out and I’m Getting Bored

Posted February 13th, 2013 at 6:30 am in Life Advice

 Melvin, 25 from Louisiana writes…

My girl won’t put out, I know she’s younger by about 6 years but she’s just frigid. It’s not much fun doing same thing each time we in the sack. I be on top every time, she won’t take it in the mouth and every time I suggest something different she goes quiet. Help doc, she is fine hot until you get her in bed.

Dr Thatslife has this to say….

You need to ask yourself, “Is this girl prude, boring or a rookie?”

Being a prude means she’s unwilling to partake in what she believes is beneath or unfitting of her. This personality gets old hat real fast because they’re usually selectively prudish about things that involve effort or sacrifice on their part, and has little to do with etiquette or standards.

Bores are exactly that, she’ll just lay there in the starfish formation, emitting the occasional groan to indicate the existence of life, while the guy does all the heavy lifting. Getting her to suck cum out of your dick like a thick shake straw is out of the question. Reciprocal affection and pleasing is not their specialty.

Finally, the most promising and possibly the most applicable of the three… Being a rookie really boils down to lack of experience, not quiet knowing what you want or how to do things and a general feeling of self-consciousness. Hence the lost looks when you hint for her to rim your asshole while playing with your balls.

Which one can you slot your girl into? Don’t jump to conclusions, it isn’t always obvious. The first two are character traits, being a rookie is only an experience issue. By you telling me she just goes quiet and by how old she is, I’m guessing she’s a rookie. Guys often make the mistake of assuming hot looks equals hot in the sack, which often fails to materialize.

So while you’re in the sack with her thinking to yourself “This girl’s more awkward than a motel ironing board”, keep in mind she’s thinking, “I’m miles away from anything resembling my comfort zone”.

You seem to have forgotten it wasn’t too long ago when YOU would have been fumbling around desperately trying to undo bra clasps and rubbing clits with the finesse of a dump truck on ice. Give this girl a fucking break Melvin, you need more patience and a guiding hand to graduate her from rookie to all-star.

Change how you approach this whole thing. I can tell from the tone of your writing, you’re pushing too hard and offering too little. More tact is needed…

Firstly, both of you should be more verbally communicative about what you both like in the sack, instead of you just trying to bludgeon her face with your hog each time. By asking her what she likes, you show empathy to her needs, and by letting her know what turns your crank, you’ve expressed how she holds the ability to titillate and satisfy you. Your efforts to learn what she likes, will not go unappreciated.

Secondly, you’ve probably offered her too little, both emotionally and physically. Make her feel sexy Melvin, spend more time working her up and getting her into the mood. Don’t just dive in and start fondling her goodies and swinging your dick around, caress the little lady. She’ll be much more inclined to swallow your loads if you’ve done a decent job of polished her floorboards, get it?

Finally, you’re probably being too heavy handed. Take it slower with smaller increments and alleviate some of her tension. The fact is, she’s giving out, just not the things you’re wanting. Give her reasons, confidence and desire to upgrade to the next level. As she acclimatizes, her willingness to open up, reciprocate and experiment more will blossom.

That’s life Melvin.

Life Advice by Dr Thatslife


Life Advice

She Wants To Go Poly, But He Doesn’t

Posted February 24th, 2012 at 3:24 pm in Life Advice

Dan, 32 from New Jersey writes…

The girlfriend and I have been with each other for just over 4 years, and now she wants a poly relationship. Honestly doc I’m not down for it. I’m happy with just the two of us, I don’t want to share. She’d been fine till now, then a week ago she’s telling me it’s either poly or she doesn’t know whether she can stay in the relationship. We have sex often, and it’s good, so where this came from suddenly is bizarre. The worst part is she already has someone she wants to do this with, his name is Raymond and in his 40s. We live together and have many mutual friends. Is this anything I can fix, or just drop her now?

Dr Thatslife has this to say….

I’d cut this one loose Dan. A big part of a functional poly relationship is the mutual agreement to do so, which doesn’t include a gun muzzle pressed into the side of your head. The fact you have a name to pin to the new penis she’ll be getting flogged with (or most likely already is getting flogged with), before she even has your blessing on the idea leaves me gagging. In fact it leads me to believe your relationship is more of a cluster fuck than you realize.

If she had approached this more tactfully and had an honest discussion about opening the relationship up, that could have been more workable. At least it would have framed the idea to you in a better light, making you perhaps see the benefits beholden to yourself in such a relationship setup (you finding another set of tits to play with). But in your case, there are no pluses for you – it’s only you envisioning Raymond blowing cum shots in your girlfriend’s mouth. You didn’t sign up for a non-monogamous relationship, so for her to assume you’d be willing to jump onboard her newly spun idea years into things, under such duress, is ridiculous.

Really this is your girlfriend’s thinly veiled attempt at justifying a new found fuck buddy. And by giving the ultimatum, she’s really saying “I’m moving on”. So take her up on the ultimatum and walk away. Don’t let details like having all your shit at the same address slow you down; you can have all your crap packed and in a moving truck faster than you can say “Gonorrhea”. And if these mutual friend’s are in fact friends, they’ll stick around. If not, then no big loss there, they would have pulled out for some other equally shallow reason down the road anyway.

It’s jarring to watch the person you’ve loved for years suddenly launch an assault on your relationship, but trying to change the course of what’s already in motion would be futile. Good luck to you buddy.

That’s life.

Life Advice by Dr Thatslife


Life Advice

Long Distance Relationship Falling Apart!

Posted October 2nd, 2011 at 7:49 am in Life Advice

Erin, 36 from Arizona writes…

After meeting my boyfriend, 3 months later we had to start a long distance relationship that has lasted so far for almost two and a half years. He lives overseas in Europe on a work related project that should finish in another six months or so. He has come back to visit me a couple times, each trip being only a week or so. The rest has all been by phone, email and instant messengers, almost daily. Over the past couple months or so it started getting harder and harder to contact him, to the point where now if I leave a voicemail (he rarely answers the phone anymore) he takes a week to call me back, usually with a pathetic excuse about work being busy. However, if I call him from a number with no caller ID or with a calling card from a pay phone he answers every time. I really don’t want to lose him, but feel like I am. We have endured so much; it would be so bad to lose it all now when we’re so close to being together again. Is he really having a hard time with work and his commitments or has he found someone else?

Dr Thatslife has this to say….

Let’s look at the long distance relationship concept first… Long distance relationships are always a total nightmare. They really do live up to their less than stellar reputation, pretty much without fail. No matter how good the intentions are, or how “different” your hack at it will be, they eventually collapse under the weight of the unnatural needs of such a relationship. At some point, someone in the relationship will shit the bed and seek or get themselves into a predicament where someone else can fill the voids a long distance relationship creates. Those cravings and longing for intimacy and contact with one another simply cannot go ignored. Our tenancy as people to fill voids in our lives by looking outside our relationship is a natural one, and a powerful one.

These relationships are unsatisfying, monotonous, routine, and downright fucking boring. And there is no way you could possibly convince me otherwise about your particular long distance relationship, it’s the same boring shit as everyone else’s that has failed in the past. After two years of this routine, every time you two are on the phone, you couldn’t seriously give a fuck about the mundane details of each other’s day except to try and extract whether the other person is frolicking in the sack with someone else. And his week-long visits here and there are simply pussy teases rather than anything useful. They only reinforce “Yep, when he leaves again, I’ll be rubbing one out each night on my own.” for the foreseeable future. Be honest with yourself about this, it’s fucking BORING.

This is his less than subtle way of letting you off the leash. It’s his way of saying “maybe if I slow down the relationship enough, it will just… stop breathing.” This could be for a variety of reasons, one of which is that he may have found someone else. But really, I would look at this positively. Instead of him leading you down the garden trail right until the last moment, he has given you an “out” that attempts to, in his mind, shut things down in the most amicable way. Think of this as your cue to move on, and seek someone that is accessible that you can build a healthy relationship with.

The other aspect of this is that you’re desperate. Sorry, but you simply cannot justify having a measly 3 months of hanging out with someone, then commit to years of waiting by the front door for his return. There is no real excuse for this except that you are clinging on with some romanticized image of him, and lack other options – it doesn’t matter what violin story you wrap around it. You are too blind with needing “someone” to realize you are completely and utterly unsatisfied with your life as a whole. It may be quite difficult for you to admit this, but deep down you know that the past two years were a total write-off, and waiting another half year has no guarantees that after all that, he won’t have changed to your disliking, or the relationship simply fails to work.

Move on… start enjoying your life Erin.

That’s life!

Life Advice by Dr Thatslife


Life Advice

Parents Disapprove of Girlfriend’s Race!

Posted June 6th, 2011 at 9:05 pm in Life Advice

Derrick, 18 from Los Angeles writes…

My parents don’t approve of my new girlfriend, because she’s Latino. They keep telling me we’re above that, we shouldn’t be mingling with such people and so forth. She is an awesome girl, so happy with her, she makes me feel amazing, I don’t want to give her up. Her and I met at school and have been good friends for months, now we’re dating. My parents make it so difficult, I can’t have her over and if they know I’m going out to see her they demand I stay home. Are they right? Should I still see her or am I making a mistake.

Dr Thatslife has this to say….

Your parents are dead wrong… dead fucking wrong, and don’t ever let them convince you otherwise. Never make such decisions to satisfy others, parents included. If this girl makes you feel like a fucking superstar, rock on.

What have the discussions with your parents entailed? Are they simply emotionally charged debates and screaming matches; or have you honestly had a mature discussion highlighting the values and positive attributes of your girlfriend? You need to determine what their negative perceptions are, and build a strategy around conquering them.

To me it sounds like a childish demonstration of class elitism, in which case you need to highlight educational, financial or other equally moronic status symbols your girlfriend may possess. While you don’t give a shit about all that, drop kicking it at your stunningly shallow parents may lessen their heckling, as you’re speaking to them in terms they appreciate. Then if they allow slightly more leverage, they can have more exposure to her – and hopefully realize she isn’t some classless peasant, but in fact a pleasant person whom brings you happiness.

The incredible part of all this, is that your parent’s opinion of your girlfriend most likely stems from insecurities and concerns of their own status in society. Kind of like the fatty that’s always first to point out how fat other people are around them. It’s deflecting criticism from themselves to others. And since they are so concerned about the subject of class themselves, they are over sensitized to it in others. Amazing eh? A real learning experience for you, and a lesson in life you can take away to enhance and improve your own life and how you treat and view others.

You keep enjoying this girl Derrick, it really is a challenge to find someone who truly brings happiness.

That… is life.

Life Advice by Dr Thatslife


Life Advice

Fiance Uninterested In Sex

Posted April 14th, 2011 at 2:40 pm in Life Advice

Nicole from California writes…

The first couple years of our relationship we had a LOT of great sex. About 3 years in it started waning and I would really have to work him to have sex with me. We had a long distance relationship for about 6 months and then got engaged. Since being engaged and moving in together he just doesn’t care for sex anymore. He doesn’t even masturbate, watch porn… nothing like that (I’ve recommended these things). He would rather sit on the couch and get high and watch movies and play video games.

I am having trouble because I want sex a lot more but I feel I am losing interest myself. I always thought the guy would be the one to want sex and I wouldn’t – but it’s the opposite case here. We are both in our early 20s and I feel like we are an old couple that has been married forever with a passion-less life. We have the best friendship and an otherwise great relationship. We communicate and I have expressed my feelings many times but it’s like we just don’t know how we can solve the problem. What can we do to get back a sex life?

Dr Thatslife has this to say….

Isn’t it great when life hands you the gift of a glimpse into your future? You’re watching your married life unfold right in front of you, without actually having to go through with it! What you’re seeing isn’t so great, is it? Well if you don’t pay attention to what it’s telling you – you’ll have a really mediocre and unfulfilling life ahead.

Your fiance is doing everything he can to avoid life – the video games, lack of intimacy and affection, movie marathons, drugs – these are all escapes from his life, part of which is you. He’s showing you who he is right now, someone that runs from his dissatisfying life outcome, instead of someone that takes it by the reigns and changes it into something that is rewarding and fulfilling. Does someone that runs from problems sound like the right partner to take on the challenges of life with? This guy would fold like laundry at the really BIG issues that WILL come up in EVERY marriage, and you’ll be divorced before you know it because of both yours and his ability to handle those issues together.

In all fairness to him, we’ve perhaps all gone through dopy periods in our lives where we were in a rut, were unhappy with our life’s path or of events happening at that time. But we get through it and move on. If he’s been on this self loathing marathon of video games and drugs for months – you’re seeing first hand we’re not dealing with someone overly adept at meeting challenges or adapting to life’s curveballs. Video games are great, watching movies is great, and for some people even the occasional hit of the green shit hits the spot, but when these become your lifestyle and your routine – that’s a problem.

Just so we’re clear – this has nothing to do with role reversal and now you’re “the guy” wanting sex in your passionless relationship. If the relationship is working, BOTH will yearn for jungle romp time in the sack. For you to believe he doesn’t masturbate is foolish. He’s probably wanking himself into oblivion right now as you read this… just because the sex has stopped, doesn’t mean he isn’t still flogging the dolphin – irrespective of what he tells you or what you observe.

Seriously, you’re marrying too young and most likely for the wrong reasons. You met in your late teens from the sounds of it, and I can guarantee you two have already grown out of the relationship whether you wish to admit it or not. The circumstance of immediately getting married after six months of a long distance relationship suspiciously sounds like it was full of irrational emotion driven decisions rather than thoughtful planning and rationality.

Nicole – spend your early, late and heck even late twenties exploring relationships and gaining a better understanding of yourself and others, not marrying the pothead you met in school. You deserve more than that, don’t you? It is through experiences with a variety of different people that you gather a better understanding of who is in fact the right person for you, not trying to morph one of your first relationships into what you want – which will most likely end in frustration.

That my dear, is life.

Life Advice by Dr Thatslife


Life Advice

Wife Won’t Let Me Go To Strip Clubs

Posted February 15th, 2011 at 6:13 pm in Life Advice

Matthew, 21 from Montana writes…

My new wife won’t let me attend the gentlemen’s clubs. Before we married she did not seem to care, now she forbids me and I don’t like it. She is telling me that I need to be faithful to her. It is common sense she should not be in the places men are stripping, but men should be able to relax at the strippers and unwind, my wife doesn’t get that. I don’t want to budge on this; I want to go with my pals whether she knows about it or not – am I wrong doc.

Dr Thatslife has this to say….

You’re right and wrong. You’re right that men do benefit from going to strip clubs, as it satisfies their primal need for having a naked 6 foot 2 blond’s melon-like tits pluck rolled up dollar bills out of their mouths. Going with buddies to the strippers really is a male bonding ritual most guys, both single and married, enjoy once in a while. You’re wrong however, to expect that your strip club access-pass will get renewed when you exchanged your girlfriend for a wife, and then slam her with the double standard that you can go to such venues but she can’t.

It’s pretty much universal that telling the wife or girlfriend you’re heading off to the rippers is optional (read, you forget to mention). Telling them you’re going to watch the bouncing tits of a couple dozen painfully attractive ladies at the local nudie bar only creates feelings of insecurity, jealousy, and so forth – essentially women see it as a threat to the relationship (particularly wives). Wives and girlfriends are very much the “caretakers” of relationships, and that title brings the duty of objecting to things that may put the relationship in jeopardy. This includes such activities as watching stunningly hot cock bait strut naked across a stage specifically with the intent of tantalizing you. She’s only doing what she’s intuitively programmed to do – don’t lose sight of that.

You may (whether she has any intention to do so or not) reject the idea of your wife visiting clubs to watch chiseled men flop their cocks out on the ridiculous grounds it’s inappropriate for a lady to do so. But the reality is that you don’t want her to go for the same reasons she doesn’t want you to go. You’re worried she’s going to enjoy herself a little too much and end up smoking some guy’s pole or hook up with one of them for midnight rendezvous at the local Shady Trees Motel – don’t bullshit me otherwise.

We both know that in the vast majority of cases everyone is at these places for a little fun leering at some fleshy bits and then heading home back to flog their loving partners. It really comes down to that old saying of “going out to get your appetite but always eating at home.” There are exceptions to that, there’s always going to be cases where guys manage to get their fingers wet, or chicks having a tug at Cyclops, which really isn’t appropriate if you’re married. But I’m gathering you’re just there to gawk at naked women, in which case I’d say it’s perfectly fine to hit a club once and a while with the buddies and forget to mention it to wifey.

Yes, people could argue that this is deceitful, which it is – let’s be honest. However, it really works out the best for everyone. Guys go to strip clubs, and to be ‘the guy’ that always bails out of a group of men going to the clubs, wreaks havoc with that guy’s place in the group. This is powerful shit. To say “I can’t go because wifey says so” is like checking your balls into the No Friends Hotel; you instantly get demoted down the male chain of command, and women will never appreciate that. The second part is that her knowing will cause infinitely more problems short and long term than not knowing ever will. This really is just innocent white lie stuff. It keeps you happy, her happy and nobody gets hurt and resentful. If she catches you though, well, that’s a whole other consultation. Booyah!

That’s life!

Life Advice by Dr Thatslife


Life Advice

Guy I’m Dating Is Uncircumcised!

Posted February 1st, 2011 at 5:46 pm in Life Advice

Mindy, 24 from Minnesota writes…

The guy I am dating isn’t circumcised and it is really turning me off when we do it. Lately I don’t even want to because each time I see it I get disgusted. What can I do about this problem of his? Can he get it taken off or is it too late?

Dr Thatslife has this to say….

Wrong Mindy, it’s YOUR problem, not his. If your cunt had piss flaps the size of Dumbo ears, would you want him recoiling in disgust at the sight of them, or appreciating that it’s you and who you are? Your strong reaction to the inch or so of skin that is SUPPOSED TO BE THERE indicates you have an Econovan full of baggage and immaturity issues.

Suggesting he should get snipped to accommodate those stunning insecurities of yours is an absurd notion, and in no way considers what such a procedure would put your partner through. Undergoing a circumcision when newly born is one thing, but as an adult it’s a totally different ballgame.

You may not realize this, but outside the tribal fairytale land of religion, it is very common for men not to be circumcised, and that the rate of circumcision over the decades has dropped considerably to now modern historic lows. While this may be your first encounter with someone who hasn’t been circumcised, you really need to adjust your thinking to the fact that it probably won’t be your last.

Instead of seeing it as something intolerable, you need to be in the frame of mind that it’s natural and completely normal. Take some time to mentally re-evaluate your initial impression of his junk, which may have been of shock. That shock then festered into a downward spiral that has led to where you are now - a mess. Let your mind take some time to digest the situation again and the fact that his uncircumcised tool doesn’t pose a threat to you. It really is a miniscule detail that you can either ignore, or if you let yourself, turn into an overblown crisis.

Heck, with your legs up in the air and him pounding that little box of yours into oblivion, it really doesn’t make an ounce of a difference (quite literally) if he is or isn’t circumcised. He’s going to blast the same amount of spunk all over your innards in either case. So DON’T put him on a guilt trip over this, instead put some much needed time and effort into internally resolving this yourself.

That’s life!

Life Advice by Dr Thatslife


Life Advice

My Girlfriend Never Invites Me!

Posted December 27th, 2010 at 9:37 am in Life Advice

Matthew, 21 from Montana writes…

While my girlfriend of just over a year is cool, her friends seem really promiscuous. My girlfriend and her friends are always hitting the clubs, getting back home very late or sometimes all through the night. My girlfriend tells me about all the guys her friends bring home each time and fool around with, but my girlfriend assures me she never does anything. Lately she goes out so much to the clubs, like 3 to 4 times almost every week, and never invites me along. I am starting to wonder what is happening when I’m not there. She always says “It’s a girl’s night” making it hard for me to ask why I’m never invited to anything, I haven’t even met most of her friends. Give me the goods Dr Thatslife.

Dr Thatslife has this to say….

It’s a “Girls Night” because it’s harder to whore yourself out when there’s a chaperone.

Friends of girlfriends are a good indicator of their own personality and behaviors. They often exhibit the qualities in a girlfriend that guys don’t get to see when in the restrained and filtered “girlfriend” mode. Does it sound reasonable that while her drunken friends are grinding anything with a heartbeat on the dance floor your girlfriend is sitting on the sidelines sipping lemon tea? You can’t honestly tell me that out of a group of hoe-bags, your girlfriend happens to be the innocent and proper princess?

Her friend’s lifestyles and values have attracted her to them, so to assume she is excluding herself out of some of their most defining activities would be foolish. There are obviously enough red flags popping up right now that you’ve begun to rightfully worry. It’s a careful balancing act for you. On one hand you want to respect her freedom and not be that asshole overbearing jealous boyfriend; on the other you don’t want to be taken advantage of and constantly be in a state of worry that your girlfriend’s getting pumped by scores of semi-retarded venereal disease riddled men courtesy of the local nightclubs.

I’d ask her straight up, and in person (not over the phone), why you have never been invited to anything and why most of her friends most likely don’t even know you exist after a year of being together. Watch carefully her facial expressions, whether her eyes are darting around, the words she chooses, her body language responses, fidgeting, whether she’s rambling on, changing the subject, and attempts to deflect the allegations. Tell her how the whole thing makes you feel, you’ve been patient enough, you have a right to ask what the fuck is going on. Don’t give her ultimatums or anything that will make her defensive, just give her your thoughts and let her naturally explain her side of things.

If you really listen to your gut feeling as she talks, you should know whether boundaries were broken. Then act on your gut response – getting a queasy feeling and ignore it makes the whole exercise pretty fucking pointless.

That’s life bro.

Life Advice by Dr Thatslife


Life Advice

My Girlfriend Watches Lesbian Porn!

Posted December 9th, 2010 at 6:57 pm in Life Advice

Neil, 26 from Buffalo, NY writes…

The other day when my girlfriend that lives with me was at work and I had the day off, I went through the Internet history on her notebook and saw she had been looking at porno sites. The problem is a handful of them were sites focused on naked girls, like the sites I would visit, some of them were even sites featuring lesbian videos. This has led me to wonder if she’s bi or gay, and I have started to worry about this. I haven’t confronted her about what I saw or asked her anything. What the heck do you think I should do? The whole thing has left me anxious.

Dr Thatslife has this to say….

Oh dear, your girl is checking out hot lesbo action sites… it’s the end of the world as we know it! Seriously, I’d chalk it up to either innocent curiosity (bless her little heart) or the fact that chicks are often more at ease than guys with watching their own kind in porn.

When guys are harvesting the Internet for porn, and accidentally hit something even semi-gay, they’re blowing chunks and gouging their eyeballs out with kitchen utensils. Girls on the other hand are a little more likely to wander into gay, lesbian or female content and stick around, as they don’t have that same visceral response. If their tit to dick watching ratio is a bit off kilter, it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re going butch. It also doesn’t usually translate into any real life bisexual activities (read threesomes), as all too many disappointed boyfriends and husbands have discovered.

Think of it this way Neil, just because you one night ventured over to the darker realms of the Internet and watched a midget fisting a horse, doesn’t mean you’re taking day trips out to your neighborhood farm… right?

You also need to keep in mind that just because something is in her Internet history (which, by the way, you’re a dickhead for scavenging through), doesn’t mean she was actively looking at it. Surely you know as well as anyone that when you’re on a jerk-a-thon and plowing through various porn sites, that other sites you didn’t ask for pop-up and open in the background and it basically makes a dumpster fire out of your desk top, right? All those browser windows you’re frantically closing featuring guys docking each other that spawned from sites you were legitimately gawking at – are all sitting in your Internet history, whether you intended to look at them or not. That could very much be the case with your girlfriend too.

If however you’ve been finding that the sack action with your girl has really tapered off lately and you’ve had experiences in the sack with her not interested in the same sexual positions as before or generally being more awkward and disconnected – maybe a little chat getting to the bottom of why things have changed would be in order.

So don’t get your panties in a twist Neil, odds are stupendously high that the sexual orientation of your girl is just fine, lesbian site surfing and all. When she gets home tonight, throw her on the bed, forget about all this, and plow her like the snowy streets of Buffalo on a December winter’s night.

That my friend, is life.

Life Advice by Dr Thatslife


Life Advice

All She Does Is Eat And Watch TV

Posted November 24th, 2010 at 8:08 pm in Life Advice

Troy, 28 from San Francisco writes…

My girlfriend of seven months keeps gaining a lot of weight, I keep telling her to lay off the junk and to exercise but she doesn’t do anything. She sits in front of the TV snacking and doing nothing as soon as she gets home until she heads off to be, every single night. No matter what I tell her it seems she doesn’t want to change. Dr Thatslife how can I get her into better shape.

Dr Thatslife has this to say….

I bet you don’t walk the walk. Sitting there watching in disgust as she plows through a family sized bag of Extra Zesty Doritos while decomposing through another suicide inspiring episode of Glee won’t help. One lazy person’s commands fall on the deaf ears of another, you need to lead by example. Instead of telling her she should be out jogging and satiating herself on carrot sticks, go out and do it yourself. Be an inspirational force, rather than a preaching hypocritical dickhead.

The next time she’s reaching for several thousand calories of processed diarrhoea and nestling in for another vomit inducing sitcom marathon – head out the door for a walk or jog, and upon your return crack out the salad and fruit. After a few times of doing this, upon returning and feeling great, ask her if she wants to come along the next time. If she declines, that’s fine. If she accepts, 90% she’ll shit the bed when departure time arrives. That’s fine too. Just keep going out for the walk or jog sessions. Wait a few more times, sit her down and explain how great you’ve felt since starting to exercise a month ago, and you’d really appreciate the company if she came with you. Don’t go in-depth on the health benefits, just explain you’d like that time to simply be with her in an activity other than watching television.

If she’s really just not getting the picture, at least you know what you’re dealing with. If her excuses are primarily about not missing pivotal episodes of shows, you need to empathize. If your life revolved around escaping into the story lines of these shows, you too would cater your life decisions around not missing key milestones in that alternate life. That is her comfort zone, and the stories of these shows specifically target and cater to her combination of laziness and need for escape from the otherwise shallow life her laziness has created for her. If she goes along with it and comes for a walk or jog, and actually adopts these new values, that’s great and you’ve definitely defied the odds.

Luckily, if you fail to change her habits during this whole process you have lost nothing, gained insight, and formed positive habits for yourself. Wallowing her nights away in front of the idiot box shovelling food into her mouth is who she is, and these traits are probably apparent in the way she handles many aspects of her life. This is important for you to know, because in the long haul it frankly only gets worse. Your own laziness and indecisiveness subconsciously chose her, and your disdain in watching yourself in her actions is what you’re experiencing. Re-evaluate yourself, your direction in life and the relationship and see if perhaps you have progressed beyond what initially formed your relationship. It’s then time to decide how you’re going to harness that insight and translate it into actions.

That’s life.

Life Advice by Dr Thatslife




 


Text Messages

 
Ronald (Sep 10):

My specialties include lollygagging, mouth breathing and shitting the bed.



Socialize

Online Chatroom
Jokes Palace Feeds


Hookups & Ol'Skool