Jokes Palace » Dirty Jokes

Three Kings Joke

Jerkoff — Fri, 20 Apr 2012 06:11:21 +0000

Little Bobby was sitting in class when the teacher asked him “Can you tell me the name of three great kings who have brought happiness and joy into people’s lives?” To which little Bobby replied “Smo-king, Drin-king and Fuc-king”.

Sportsman’s Double Joke

Jerkoff — Sun, 08 Apr 2012 13:41:31 +0000

A guy ends up with an older woman at a bar last. She looked pretty good for a 55-year-old. In fact, she wasn’t too bad at all, and he found himself thinking she probably had a really hot daughter. They drank a couple of beers, and she asked if I’d ever had a “Sportsman’s Double”? “What’s that?” the guy asked. “It’s a mother and daughter threesome.” she said.

As the guy’s mind began to embrace the idea, and he wondered what her daughter might look like, he said, “No, I haven’t.” They drank a bit more, then she said with a wink, “tonight’s your lucky night.” They hopped into a taxi and went back to her place. When they arrived back at her place and they walked into the front door, she turned on the hall light and shouted upstairs “Mom… you still awake?”

Different Ideas Joke

Jerkoff — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 05:05:14 +0000

I’m about three years into my relationship now and I’ve started to have erection difficulties. My girlfriend and I have different ideas as to what the problem is. She bought me some Viagra, and I’ve bought her a treadmill.

Secrets To A Happy Marriage Joke

Jerkoff — Sat, 03 Mar 2012 01:20:39 +0000

It is important to find a woman that cooks and cleans. It is important to find a woman that makes good money. It is important to find a woman that loves to have sex. And MOST importantly… It is important that these three women never meet.

Wife’s Photo Joke

Jerkoff — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 11:13:09 +0000

A man is sitting at home alone when he hears a knock at the front door. He opens it to find two sheriff’s deputies there. He asks if there is a problem. One of the deputies asks if he is married. The man replies, “Yes, I am.” The deputy then asks if he could see a picture of the man’s wife. The guy says, “Sure…” and gets a photo to show them. The deputy says, “I’m sorry, sir. But it looks like your wife’s been hit by a truck.” The guy replies, “I know, but she has a great personality and is an excellent cook.”

Tourist From Bulgaria Joke

Jerkoff — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 20:37:05 +0000

A tourist from Bulgaria visits the United States on his first overseas trip. Upon arrival at the Immigration desk, he is visibly puzzled filling out his visa application. The immigration officer looks over the man’s shoulder, and sees the tourist trying to write “Twice a week” into the small space labeled “SEX”.

The officer explains “No, no, no… that isn’t what we mean by this question. We are asking ‘Male’ or ‘Female’.”

“Does it matter?” the tourist answers.

Virgin Old Maid Joke

Jerkoff — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 19:18:33 +0000

In a tiny village lived an old maid. In spite of her old age, she was still a virgin. She was very proud of it. She knew her last days were getting closer, so she told the local undertaker that she wanted the following inscription on her tombstone:

“Born as a virgin, lived as a virgin, died as a virgin.”

Not long after, the old maid died peacefully, and the undertaker told his men what the lady had said. The men went to carve it in, but as the bastards they were, they thought the inscription to be unnecessarily long. They simply wrote “Returned unopened.”

Lost Grandson Joke

Jerkoff — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 15:55:33 +0000

A small grandson that was shopping with his grandfather got lost in the mall.

The boy approached a uniformed security guard and said, “I’ve lost my grandpa!”

The guard asked, “What’s his name?” The boy replied, “Grandpa.”

The guard smiles, then asks “What’s he like?” to which the little tyke hesitated for a moment and replied, “Crown Royal whiskey and women with big tits.”

What Sex Is Called Joke

Jerkoff — Fri, 25 Nov 2011 15:57:18 +0000

Sex with 3 people is called a threesome.
Sex with 2 people is called a twosome.
That explains why they call you handsome!

Medal of Bravery Joke

Jerkoff — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 21:33:27 +0000

An officer shouted orders to a nearby soldier. With considerable bravery, the soldier ran directly onto the field of battle, in the line of fire, to retrieve a dispatch case from a dead soldier. In a hail of bullets, he dove back to safety. “Private…” the officer said, “I’m recommending you for a medal of bravery. You risked your life to save the locations of our secret warehouses.”

“Warehouses!?” the soldier shouted. “I thought you said whorehouses!”