We make plans and he never keeps them! Posted February 24th, 2008 in Dr Thatslife Advice

 Sara, 14 from New York writes…

“My boyfriend and I have been going out for almost a year now. A lot of the times when we make plans he never shows up. The next day when I confront him he always has a good excuse why he didn’t show up, a reason that’s impossible for me to disagree with. I get mad at myself for being selfish and getting angry with him even though I know it was impossible for him to meet me or call me to say he wasn’t coming. Whenever he does this he always gets very depressed and says that he doesn’t want to hurt me or see me upset. So you’re probably wondering what my question is. I just want to know if I should be getting angry at him even though he says he doesn’t want to hurt me for not showing up. Thanks Dr. That’s Life!”

 Dr Thatslife has this to say…

Wow Sara, you really caught yourself a looser! This guy is using you like a piece of toilet paper. Why? Lets have a look at this shall we!

You two make plans… he doesn’t show up… gives you some cockamamie bullshit story. Well these sort of things happen. When it’s happening over and over again, that means he doesn’t give a flying fuck about you. There will of course be times when he’s absolutely right and he simply couldn’t make it. However if he is continually breaking commitments with you, would you say the two of you are really committed to each other as a relationship? No! Having a relationship is all about being there for the other person, its about showing in everything you do that you love the other person. What he is saying to you is, “Well, I didn’t feel like seeing you tonight, here’s my excuse.” When he gets all sorry and telling you all these reasons and getting depressed, all he’s doing is whispering sweet nothings into your ear and trying to get you to feel sorry for him to shadow what’s really going on.

It also sounds like you had to chase him for an answer as to why he never showed up. Don’t you think if he gave a rats ass about you, he would call you and say “Look, I’m sorry but I can’t make it tonight.” Its that simple… It takes a whole minute out of his schedule. It also saves you from a wasted night waiting for the fucking chump.

If he really was “depressed” over it, he WOULDN’T DO IT AGAIN TIME AND TIME AGAIN would he? Meaning he isn’t genuine about it. Tell this jerk off to get his act together, and that you want him on time, or you’ll be finding someone, errrr I mean, something else to do when he doesn’t show up!

And that my dear Sara, is life!