We Had Sex But He Won’t Acknowledge It! Posted February 11th, 2010 in Dr Thatslife Advice

Minoa, 27 from Vancouver, British Columbia writes…

During a camping trip with a group of friends a few weeks ago, I met a guy and we had sex on the second night of the trip. We were all pretty drunk, but I knew what I was doing, and I liked him. From the next day on, he was friendly but didn’t seem to acknowledge what had happened and the significance of it. Four nights ago at a mutual friend’s house party him and I met up again and we fooled around in one of the bedrooms, but didn’t “do it”. Later that night I asked him if he wanted to be steady with me and he kind of just blew that whole question aside and ignored it. I really like him, possibly even love him, but I’m not sure what to make of his feelings about me. Any help?

Dr Thatslife has this to say….

The reason he didn’t “acknowledge the significance” is because it wasn’t significant for him. He was drunk, you were available and willing, he emptied his balls into your box, and there you have it! It doesn’t go much deeper than that for him. If he was remotely interested in pursuing something beyond playing with your goodies he would have made even a half baked attempt at contacting you between your two drunken encounters – but he didn’t. It’s usually pretty obvious when a guy digs a chick and this doesn’t have the signs.

The sad part of these binge drinking episodes is that one partner will often misread the event as a sign the other is keen; when in fact they just wanted to fuck. There isn’t anything wrong with two people drunk humping, heck some people depend on it, but motives can easily be misread.

Saying you possibly love him after two chance encounters is foolish at best, you know nothing about him except perhaps his favourite sexual position. And asking him to go steady so early on in the game is another jaw dropper. Seriously Minoa, you’re 27, you need to grow up. Any guy hearing that kind of desperate talk on the second meet up is going to run for the hills with smoke trails behind him.

You’re going to have to let this fish go. Wasting more time lusting after him is going to get you nowhere, and letting him unload his seeds into you at future parties is only going to enforce your bond to him with unfruitful results. Don’t take offence to the whole thing, it’s obvious he was attracted to you. It may be he just doesn’t wish to commit himself, or similar such reason. Just treat it for what it was, a couple good times at parties with your friends, nothing more or less.

That’s life, Minoa.