We fight but I can’t stop thinking about him! Posted March 5th, 2008 in Dr Thatslife Advice

 Lauren, 18 from somewhere in the USA writes…

“I have been dating this guy for a little over three years. For the last few months we have been fighting alot about stupid stuff. We just recently decided that we should break up and i stopped talking to him all together for about 2 weeks. The other day i get a random text from him like the whole situation has never happened. We talked which led to another arguement and now i cant stop thinking about him again. Everytime we talk we end up fighting about something so little and he puts his “frat brothers” infront of me all the time! I love him and want to be with him but i cant be number two in his life. Especially behind those frat morons. He still tells me he loves me and that im the one… So what’s happening to us?”

 Dr Thatslife has this to say…

If it’s been 3 years (meaning you two met at the ripe old age of 15) you really need to figure out what you’re getting out of the relationship, versus finding someone new. The person you picked at 15 is most likely very different than who you would be attracted to at 18. Your fights and arguments are all your incompatibilities and natural tendency to dissolve the relationship kicking in. Basically, the fights are hinting that you two have outgrown each other and it’s time to pick up and move on.

Relationships between guys and gals at your age are supposed to be a revolving door, this is so you can get a sample platter of all the dick out there to figure out what you like best. You have plenty of time ahead of you to get into gruelling long term commitments with men, so have fun now while you can. Besides, if you stop to rationalize exactly what you’re “not able to stop thinking about”, you’ll realize you aren’t thinking about anything with substance - just emotional turmoil and confusion.

Finally, let’s address this being number one in his life crap. The fact is, you won’t be number one in his life… he’s in his late teens, he has lots of things that are competing to be number one. Girls have this misconception that they have to take precedence over everything else in the world of their guy… which is horse shit. Don’t get me wrong, the girlfriend is right up there on the list - but moron frat brothers are right up there too. It’s your teenage boyfriend’s job to have moronic and juvenile friends that you can’t tolerate, and it’s your responsibility as a teenage girlfriend to have hot chick friends that he wants to get drunk and have threesomes with.

That’s Life!