Is he hanging out with me only for sex? Posted November 18th, 2007 in Dr Thatslife Advice

 April, 20 from Oakland writes…

“Dr. Thatslife, I’m having a little dilemma with my new man. Well I don’t know if you can even call him my man really. We’ve been seeing each other for about a month now and its been fun. He’s VERY quiet and he is very nice. The thing is, well, the sex is GREAT. I’ve never had sex like it before. It’s the best that I have ever had. I just don’t know if he likes me for ME or for the sex. He just recently got divorced and he has a little boy. He’s just 3 years older than me. I don’t want a serious relationship either, but I would like to feel wanted other than in bed. I don’t want to scare him off. Should I talk to him about it?”

 Dr Thatslife has this to say…

A good and clear indicator of if you are a fuck friend to him or not is whether you actually do anything outside of the bed. Does he call you up just to talk? Does he take you out to dinner, on dates, movies, etc? When you go over to his place are there times when you do OTHER things, or nights where you just lay off the physical complete? If all you ever do is fuck then YES, you are a blowup doll. If you have this voice inside of you that keeps saying he is using you, that is usually because he is. Listen to that gut feeling and act on what it is saying… If you do all the things I just described to you that are non-sexual things then you probably aren’t a fuck friend. Talk to him about how you feel and get the facts straight from the source, he may be looking for different things in the relationship then you. You just don’t know until you talk to him.

Him coming out of most likely a bad marriage (hence the divorce) would indicate sex life hasn’t been great for him and he may be making up for lost time, just wants a “lite” recovery relationship  - who knows!? Yes, the best thing to do is talk with him about it all and see where you stand. Otherwise your over active imagination will answer your questions for you.

That’s Life!