My Boyfriend Is Cheating On Me! Posted November 26th, 2009 in Dr Thatslife Advice

Cindy, 23 from Miami, Florida writes…

Last week I caught my boyfriend of 8 months cheating on me with a girl that goes to the same college as we do. He flat out refused that he did it but I know it’s true because I watched them coming out of a diner down the street from school holding hands, then kissed each other before going separate ways. I spoke to mutual friends and they confessed he slept with her at a house party he said he never went to. I really love him, but when I saw them together I felt so awful. I don’t know if I should bring this up to him or not? If he gets angry about it I might loose him. Dr Thatslife I need your help!

Dr Thatslife has this to say….

There isn’t anything to debate here Cindy. You have every right to drop Mr Playboy into an interrogation room and water board his lying ass until he’s mumbling confessions out his partially paralyzed drowning face. In all seriousness, it’s completely unrealistic for you to bottle up what you have witnessed as if it never happened. It is in your right to know what is happening, so you can decide whether you do in fact love this person.

So obviously this whole ordeal makes you feel like an assorted shit platter. Carefully examine this and understand how this has emotionally impacted you and how it has affected the relationship. Don’t just blindly love him unconditionally, that mentality under such circumstances is for suckers. Look at this for what it really is… a breach of your trust. Then enter into a discussion with him, explain what you saw, what you heard and how it makes you feel. He will attempt to play down the event as just between friends or that it didn’t mean anything (yes, it‘s that predictable). Then hammer him for the real answers, and really try to ascertain what he’s willing to do to change the situation.

Don’t be afraid to not love him. That’s right… Doesn’t it piss you off that everyone seems to have known about this except you? You had to literally prod friends like cattle to find out he’s twiddling another woman’s twat – you’re being run over here like road kill. Stick up for yourself, find out what’s going on, determine if things are going to drastically change, and if you are unsatisfied with what you’re hearing – cut him loose and move on. That level of confidence will most likely inspire you be attracted to more stable relationships. No kidding. By weakly accepting such transgressions, you indirectly ask for this type of treatment. Turn that around by taking control and being more confident, your future relationships will turn out for the better.

Go get em’ Cindy!