How do I ask a guy out if I’m too shy? Posted January 27th, 2008 in Dr Thatslife Advice

 Jodie, 15 from sunny Orlando writes…

“Ok homecoming is coming up it is October 2. I don’t have a date yet and I feel really bad I mean all of the other girls that I have talked to have dates. I’m not deformed of extremely ugly or anything. That doesn’t really make a difference but anyway I was just kinda wondering how do I get a date and how do I tell if a guy wants to be my date but is too shy to ask?”

 Dr Thatslife has this to say…

Alright, you need to have a good look around you. Of the guys that you like, are any of them talking to you, giving you hints, checking you out, being real friendly? If any of that is true you may be in! The thing is, it can sometimes be difficult trying to figure out how someone feels about you that you don’t know too well. You just need to look at the fine print. Look for signals, and if that person is serious about you, they will try their hardest to make an impression. If they are going out of their way to talk with you or do stuff with you then that’s a good sign.

As for your end of things… If there is that one guy you really want to bust a move on, you need to do a bunch of things… Get talking with him, show an interest in what he’s doing, hook up with him at recess or whenever. If you have something you are going to like a show, concert or whatever, there is no harm in asking him to come along.

If you’re more on the shy side, when he’s walking past in the hall at school for example, smile at him… It isn’t hard to do, its very recognizable to the other person as a positive feeling towards him. Good thing with it is, it presents a feeling to him without you having to get too courageous. The next time you walk by, maybe smile and add in a “hi!”. Few times after that you could stop him to talk.

Know what you want to say to him but are too shy? That’s possibly where a letter comes in. You can say what you want to him without actually saying it face to face. Sounds like a bit of a cop out, but if you write him a super short letter saying something along the lines of “Hoping we could maybe get together some time…. give me a call… blah blah blah”, its a lot better then not trying at all.

Thing is though, just going up and talking to a guy is much easier then you think. Just walk up and start talking about really easy stuff like, “How’s your day been?”, “Been busy today?”, “What class you off to now?” ask stuff you want to know about him, all this small talk usually turns into real talk and before you know it, the conversation is rolling. See, he probably has a bunch of stuff he’s curious to ask you about as well.

Worried the conversation will die? Just think of an emergency line. So when you are talking to him and something happens to the conversation just say, “Alright, well, I just wanted to see how you were doing, talk to you later.”

Talk to your friends, and see how they got hooked up with their guys. You will be surprised how easy most of their replies will be. Don’t worry about them thinking your an idiot for asking, people LOVE to share their opinion and dating help. You never know, in talking to them about it, they may know of a guy interested in you, or hook you up with one of their guy friends, you never know.

Wish you luck…