I’m having an affair with my neighbour! Posted February 21st, 2008 in Dr Thatslife Advice

 Dee, 34 from Sacramento writes…

“I have been having an affair for the past 2 years. We both love each other very much. We are able to satisfy each other in every way possible. (Sexually and mentally). I know that sounds kind of lame but we can’t seem to stay from each other even though my husband has found out and his wife has a pretty good idea what’s going on. We both would like to leave our spouses but there’s kids involved on each end and to make matters worse we live across the street from one another and our kids are best friends. This is the first time in my life that I have never been able to talk to anybody the way that I can talk to him. It’s sad but I could never be as close to my husband in a sexual sense as I am to him. What should we do. It’s not fair to our spouses to continue on like this. Don’t recommend moving because financially it’s not possible.”

 Dr Thatslife has this to say…

Trust me, I wasn’t going to recommend moving…You know what, the whole thing does sound kind of fucking lame, Dee. Maybe you should consider growing up. Your husband sounds like he either has a lot of patience for people like you, is currently in the process of figuring out how to drop you without permanently scaring the kids, or is just plain stupid. Its like I’m reading something written by a 16 year old girl in a high school relationship and she just noticed the “boy down the road”, not an adult married couple.

Yeah, no kidding it isn’t fucking fare to your spouses. Lets look at it this way, pretend rolls have been reversed. You find out that your husband has been pumping some chick across the road for the past couple years. Wouldn’t you be pretty fucking irate at your husband? Don’t you realize how revolted you would feel knowing that he was dicking you all that time too? Its pretty hardcore isn’t it?

So what you’re saying is that twiddle dink across the street whispers sweet nothings into your ear, listens to your long drawn out stories, and is a good fuck in bed, and he’s got you just like that? I can bet you my next pay check that moving in with him will change all that pretty quick and he won’t give a shit. Before you know it, you have fucked up multiple peoples lives and you still won’t be happy.

Didn’t you spend any time or effort before you got married to figure out all this shit about your husband. Or did you get swept up into the moment like you did with this new guy? You know you can relate to dickhead across the street, but why not your own fucking husband. There must have been some reason you initially married him!? I bet you’re so built up in this affair thing you haven’t even given your husband a chance to meet your needs physically or emotionally.

Ask yourself this about your husband… “He may not be a romantic talker, might not have good in-bed skills, but does he love me and look after me and loves the kids?”

You saying your concerned for the kids is a load of bullshit if you’re contemplating getting a divorce for the reasons you gave me. If your husband was cheating on you, or was out drunk every night, or was violent, or abused the kids, then you’re right, you need a divorce…. But right from when you first started spreading your legs for the guy across the street you weren’t thinking about the kids…AT ALL… So WAKE UP and get your fucking life together before you hurt a lot of people.

That, Dee, is life!