He’s scaring me and doesn’t want me to tell anyone! Posted November 21st, 2007 in Dr Thatslife Advice

 Anita, 13 from California writes…

“Hi Dr Thatslife… I need your help. You see, I am only 13… So right off you are gonna think I am some whore, but here goes. Last week, I was at a huge party at my friends house. She was serving drinks and I had a little to much, in other words, I got totally wasted. She asked me to stay the night because she didn’t want me to go home and get into deep shit with my parents. So I agreed, the next day, I woke up in her moms bed, and there was some dude beside me, and I was naked, and so was he. I flipped out! He looked like he was in his late 20’s. I was looking at his back, so I couldn’t identify him, I got up, walked around the bed and it was my best friends brother! Who is at least 28! I just put my clothes on quickly and ran out of the house in tears. Anyways, since then, I went back to my friends house, because I thought her brother was away. Well, he wasn’t and when he saw me he just smiled and started to laugh.

Later on that day I was in the bathroom and as I was walking out, he was in the doorway and he backed me into the bathroom and closed the door. I thought he was going to rape me or something but he just said “you better not tell anyone what happened, I’m waiting for it to happen again.” I was SO scared and I went to leave but he grabbed me. He took out his penis and he told me to touch it and stuff. The whole time I was crying. When he finally let me out, I told my friend I had to leave. She has been asking me what happened and why I seem so upset. Well, I don’t know if I should tell her or not! I am so scared because he told me not to tell. Now every time, he sees me around town, he just smiles. I don’t know what to do!!! Dr. Thatslife… I know you usually don’t handle these problems, but I don’t know what to do and I need someone’s help.”

 Dr Thatslife has this to say…

Anita, this is a very serious situation. You CANNOT attempt to handle this on your own. You need to tell your parents immediately. Describe to them what has happened in every detail. You may not want to do this, but you have to.  You may be worried about what they will do when you tell them you went to the party and got drunk, but don’t worry. The problem you have right now far outweighs the drinking issue. Your parents will be much more concerned about what is happening right now.

You definitely need to tell people about this. Do not listen to him when he says not to tell anyone. If you keep this quiet, no one will know about what is happening, so no one will be able to help you if there is an emergency. In a case like this, when he says not to tell anyone, it is
because he knows what he is doing is wrong. This man is very sick, much older then you, and is dangerous.

I think the most important thing you can do is tell your parents immediately. If you have a very very serious communication problem with your parents, tell them anyway, they will understand the importance of this if they have even a shred of morals. If you absolutely cannot tell your parents for whatever serious reason, your next option is the police. This is a criminal matter, that man should not have been saying or doing the things that he did to you. So the police can help you.

So tell your parents or police, stay away from the house and places this man lives and visits. Be careful and do not take any unnecessary risks.

That’s life.