He’s leaving for college… I think we should break up! Posted September 15th, 2007 in Dr Thatslife Advice

 Erin, 18 from USA writes…

“I have been together with my boyfriend for 6 months. He just left for college about 800 miles from where I live, so I can’t see him very often. When he left, we decided to stay together, but now I think that we should break up for the time being. It’s not that I like some other guy or anything, it’s just that if anyone does come along, and I like him, I don’t want to feel guilty about it. Plus, because he’s in college, I’m sure that he’s going to have a lot of opportunities to get with other girls. I do want to stay with him, but I think it would be best if we broke up.”

 Dr Thatslife has this to say…

I think your right. It would be unrealistic for each of you to expect the other to wait this out. You will both have your own lives, and it would be difficult at best to see each other in person, and having a phone relationship is by no means a way to spend your life. Each time calling your partner is more a tease than anything else.

Maybe you would want to split up with the intention that when he has finished college, you two can see where each other are at in life and decide whether it would be a good idea to get back together or not. So much will have changed by then for both of you. It hasn’t been a long term relationship and your still young. You don’t want to be pinned down to a relationship with a person you never get to spend time with.

Its difficult to look at a situation like this in a “fact of the matter” way, but I think your consultation pretty well summed it up very well, it basically won’t work under the circumstances.

Just be careful about how you tell him your new feelings on the matter. Moving to a new place where he doesn’t know anyone and then getting dumped may really hurt him. So just time it well and tell him in an understanding way and everything will work out for the best.

That’s Life!