Should I live where my friends or boyfriend is? Posted January 3rd, 2008 in Dr Thatslife Advice

 Jenn, 15 from Ontario, Canada writes…

“Well, a couple days ago, my mom and dad got a divorce, and now my dad is moving to Iowa and he wants me to go and live with him… I want to because that would mean that I could be with my boyfriend. My mom wants me to stay with her…and I want to stay with her because of my friends. I just don’t know what to do, I love my boyfriend with all my heart and I want to be with him…please can you help me?”

 Dr Thatslife has this to say…

At your age I think a group of good friends would be more important then a boyfriend in this decision. Boyfriends will come and go, but friends will not only be there for you for a long time, but lead to other boyfriends.

Sounds pretty negative, but the scenario of you moving to Iowa for your boyfriend and him dumping you shortly after for whatever reason is a possibility. Whereas your already living in Canada, you have friends you sound like you can count on…That is important and worth hanging onto more then many other things in life.

This decision shouldn’t just be based on “boyfriend” or “friends”… You need to weigh the pros and cons of each place based on other factors as well, such as…

Take into account the physical place you decide upon. Do you enjoy living in Canada, or do you want to experience something different by moving to Iowa? You may not like one more then the other and that is something you should make an important part of the whole thing. Your life is shaped not only by your friends, but what your city has to offer you too.

This is also an issue of which parent you would rather live with. If you get along with one better then the other, this may also sway your decision.

That’s life!