He doesn’t know about our crippled financial state! Posted September 21st, 2007 in Dr Thatslife Advice

 Elizabeth, 24 from Arkansas writes…

“I am a liar. Not that I lie about everything or to everybody but to keep my husband from suffers ulcer attacks I mislead him about our money situation and tell him I’ve paid bills that we never had the money to paid in the first place. I have come clean on three occasions but those were just the tip of the iceberg. I don’t do it to hurt his feelings quite the opposite really. And believe me I know that lying is wrong but I only want to make his life less stress full. But alas, now everything is about to bite me in the butt. Everyone wants their money and I’m dodging phone calls day and night. I want to tell him but I’ve promised him this would never happen to us. His mother did this to his father until they were forced to file chapter 11. I am afraid that if the truth be know he will leave our marriage of five years and three adorable children”

 Dr Thatslife has this to say…

What the hell are you doing Elizabeth? The both of you are using money, but only one knows of your crippled financial stability. How long did you really expect that to work? What do ulcer attacks have to do with having no money to pay bills. Yes, its sweet to try and protect your husband from the unpleasentries of REAL LIFE. However, it is not going to help him when there’s a guy at the front door with a clip board and a list of your shit on it to take. Then when you told me your doing the same thing that failed for his mother, I just about fell off my seat. CAN’T YOU USE HER FAILINGS AS AN EXAMPLE OF WHAT NOT TO DO?

I suggest you come clean with your husband pronto. He deserves to know and to act accordingly. I think this is a serious situation, but not something that a marriage is ended over. You need to tell him that you had best intentions in mind, but that you were unable to accomplish what you had hoped to. It is easy to promise you will never run into financial difficulties, but in reality, most people and couples at some point in their lives have cash flow problems anywhere from annoying to devastating. Take action before this gets even more out of hand and talk to your husband. Telling him will help soften the blow over the alternative of him getting that knock on the door one day. He can also add his thinking to the matter and may come up with ideas to solve this issue you hadn’t thought of.

That’s Life!