Should I date my boyfriend’s good friend? Posted February 1st, 2008 in Dr Thatslife Advice

 Ann, 15 from USA writes…

“I’ve have been dating the same guy for a year now. The problem is I think I have a crush on his friend, and I think he likes me too. I love my boyfriend, but we haven’t been getting on very well lately. So now I have to decide on staying with my boyfriend of a year and 3 months (and my first), or giving it a shot with a guy who I’d get along better with, if he even likes me. A classic isn’t it? ”

 Dr Thatslife has this to say…

Ya it’s a classic…However, you’re 15, what are you really getting out of a relationship that has been going on for over a year? From the sounds of things not a whole lot, and its basically just a comfort zone now. You’ve got lots of time later on in your life for heavy relationships, right now you need to focus on having fun. When your later in your teens and in your twenties, that’s when you waste years of your life on the same person, not now Ann! Things aren’t working out with the current guy? Chuck him in the gutter and try again! Don’t give me that shit about “Things aren’t working out well, BUT ohhh I love him so much!” Sit back and be realistic with yourself, do you LOVE him or not? And for that matter, WHY do you love him or not?

I would advise against seeing his friend… Don’t you think that would be a bit complicated? The new guy would get every little piece of shit that your now ex-boyfriend could dredge up from the back of his mind and tell him. That’s right, guys will tell their friends every little insignificant, to very significant piece of shit about you there is in existence! It would also be complex because you would keep bumping into your current guy because, yup, they are friends! And do you honestly think he would be happy to see you each time you two do bump into each other? I think not! You dumped the guy for his friend, that he now knows you had a crush on for eons. He now knows you wanted to get down his friends pants in a serious way, in his mind, from day one.

I’d say, if you are already looking around (you wouldn’t have even noticed his friend if you weren’t) scrap your current relationship and go have some fun. If you are telling your boyfriend you just need to play the field for a while, that will be much better. Heck, if you really really really like his friend, tell your boyfriend you just want a break from relationships, and then just HAPPEN to start seeing his friend like, a few months down the road. How’s that? Much cleaner and it ends the way you want it to.

Its all so complicated eh? But that’s life!