Gold Digger Posted May 12th, 2008 in Funny Pictures

Anal Sex Joke Posted May 10th, 2008 in Dirty Jokes

A woman went to her doctor for advice. She told the physician that her husband had developed a penchant for anal sex, and she wasn’t sure it was such a good idea. The Doctor asked, “Do you enjoy it?” She said that she did. He asked, “Does it hurt you?” She said no. The Doctor then told her, “Well, then, there’s no reason that you shouldn’t practice anal sex, if that’s what you like, so long as you take care not to get pregnant.” The woman was mystified. She asked, “You can get pregnant from anal sex?” The Doctor replied, “Of course. Where do you think lawyers come from?”

Guy Called Mike Limerick Posted May 9th, 2008 in Rude Limericks

There once was this guy called Mike,
who met this chick he really liked,
he tried to get near,
and she gave him a sneer,
cause the chick was a full-fledged dyke.

Tampon Purchase Joke Posted May 7th, 2008 in Dirty Jokes

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter. The man at the counter asked the older boy, “Son, how old are you?” “Eight,” the boy replied. The man continued, “Do you know how these are used?” The boy replied, “Not exactly, but they aren’t for me. They are for my brother, he’s four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike. He can’t do either one.”

Daddy Wanted A Blowjob Posted May 5th, 2008 in Funny Pictures

Man From York Limerick Posted May 5th, 2008 in Rude Limericks

There once was a man from York,
who picked his nose with a fork,
when it got stuck,
he cried “I don’t give a fuck”,
and walked around looking like a dork.

Unmistakable Signs He’s Gay Posted May 5th, 2008 in Scathing Opinion

“Hey guys, I just got tickets to be in the Ellen Degeneres Show audience!!!” - If he’s excited to be the one in a thousand guy in that audience, there is no hope.

“Does my Lulu Lemon hoodie match my Esprit for Men pants?”- Wearing men spin-offs of women’s clothing is gayness maximus, trying to coordinate them is even gayer.

“I was going to get yellow Crocs but these purple ones just look so fantastic on me!” - There’s nothing gayer than gay shoes in gay colors. He’s gay.

“Cats have feelings too you know.” - Any man that gives a rats arse about cats and their perpetual needs and feelings is certified flamboyant.

“This Gewurztraminer tastes so fruity… I love it!” - Any sentence where the fruitiness of a beverage falls into positive light is cause for concern.

“Just bought a new SUV, have you heard of it? It’s called a RAV4.” - Incorrectly classifying the chick truck you just bought as an SUV is grounds for promotion to lieutenant commander of the Gay Scouts.

“These throw pillows really accent my Tuscan themed living space.”- Any reference to duvet covers, throw pillows or table runners is genitals tucked between legs gay.

“Should I bring Celine Dion’s new album to the party?” - Celine Dion’s inclusion in his music library or mention thereof scores an infinite number on the gay-o-meter.

“How do you check the tire pressure again?” - Lacking simple car maintenance skills is a one-way trip to Gay Town.

Wake Up One Liner Posted May 3rd, 2008 in One Liner Jokes

Q. What’s soft and warm when you go to bed, but hard and stiff when you wake up?

A. Vomit

Cosmetic Surgery Joke Posted May 1st, 2008 in Dirty Jokes

Two women were having lunch together and discussing the merits of cosmetic surgery. The first woman says, “I need to be honest with you, I’m getting a boob job.” The second woman says “Oh that’s nothing, I’m thinking of having my asshole bleached!” To which the first replies, “Whoa I just can’t picture your husband as a blonde!”

Man From Peru Limerick Posted April 30th, 2008 in Rude Limericks

There once was a man from Peru,
who fell asleep in a canoe,
while dreaming of Venus,
he played with his penis,
and woke up all covered with goo.

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